Page 101 of Prince of Pain

It felt like my world had fallen apart a million times before, but only one thing had hurt this badly before. Losing Lloyd had destroyed me, no parent should bury their child.

I wouldn’t survive if I had to bury another.

“Let me look,” Caden murmured as he cupped my chin gently to tilt my head, running his eyes over my cheek where Ryder had hit me.

I’d always struggled to believe I was a good mom, my childhood trauma from my own upbringing playing such a huge part in it, but I’d convinced myself we could raise our kids better.

To this day, it was fucking hard, and they tested me daily with their disobedience and defiance that they definitely got from me and their fathers.

Part of me was proud of how strong they were, but another part wished they could’ve just been children and grown up like normal kids without criminals as parents and the world watching their every move.

“Hey,” Caden said softly, snapping me out of my thoughts as he wiped a tear from my cheek that I hadn’t realized I’d let escape. “We’ll get him back into rehab. He’ll be okay.”

“Do you believe that?” I croaked, glancing at Diesel. “We did everything right last time. What went wrong?”

Diesel sighed, pressing a kiss to my temple. “It wasn’t his fault. Someone spiked his drink at a party, and it kickstarted things.”

The pit in my stomach filled with pure anger as I stared at him. “Someone had the fucking balls to drug our son?”

“That’s what he said. He has no idea who did it, only that it was a party pill.”

Caden stepped back, glancing at Lukas and Jensen. “We need a plan. That wasn’t just a mood swing, that was pure out of control violence. He’s never acted like that before.”

“Can we take him back to rehab today?” Lukas asked, wincing slightly. “We can’t have him acting like that. Even without the violence, he’s bringing drugs into the house. Kids like Noah need to be away from that shit, they’re easily influenced.”

Ryder was destroying his bedroom, I could hear him yelling at himself and throwing things around, making my heart hurt.

How did we let it get so bad before noticing? I thought he’d been fine and was just feeling confined to the house, or I never would’ve let him go to Kingslake with Tempest for some space.

“Maybe we need to do to him what Arch and Lex did to Tempest,” I suggested, the words tasting bitter in my mouth.

Slash scoffed. “That didn’t do anything. She’s just running riot.”

“Yeah, because Ry was funding her things. Now that both of them are broke, maybe they’ll want to change?”

“What are you saying? Kick him out?”

“Of this house, yes. We’ll put him in one of our other houses. No rent, food is delivered weekly, no bills. He has everything he needs to live but nothing else,” I explained, burying my face in Caden’s neck. “I wish the guys were here. I thought we were doing okay without them.”

Having Skeeter, Tyler, and Hunter in jail was making things difficult, but having Beckett and Maddox in there too was really stressing me out. I’d been so focused on trying to get them out while juggling the foster kids and running two crews, that I didn’t look closely enough at my kids that were right in front of me.

It was like years’ worth of emotion hit me all at once, and I couldn’t contain it anymore as I sobbed into Caden’s shoulder while he held me.

To have Ryder physically hit me wasn’t something I’d seen coming or ever wanted to emotionally experience again, let alone his venomous words.

This year had tested us as a family, but right now, I had no idea if we’d make it through together.

Would Beckett and Maddox get released, or were they stuck in jail? Would my guys get out?

Was Ryder right, and someone else would come along and start taking them all out one by one?

I’d spent years blaming myself for Lloyd’s death, so Ryder’s words had hit me right where it hurt.

Was I going to lose him too?

Chapter Eighteen

Ryder

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