Page 23 of A Captain So Callous and Cruel

“You think love has all this power, don’t you?” he asks, though he doesn’t wait for an answer. “That you can just open yourself to someone and heal them, or that all their evil can be washed away when they open themselves back.”

“It depends,” I say, unable to hide the sympathy in my voice.

“On what?”

“On whether he wants to wash away his evil.”

His chuckle is empty, nothing genuine about it as he considers this. “I have a feeling,” he murmurs, lost to whatever thought he’s holding onto. “Even love can’t redeem a man like me.”

“You’re wrong.” I simply say.

I’m not trying to comfort him, but I do believe it to be true. Where there’s love, there’s always possibility for redemption. And looking up at him, seeing the way his expression shifted when he spoke about his love for his son, I know it’s there.

It won’t be there for me. I’m just a passing fancy. Or for anyone else. But for his son… His son is his purpose.

Even a villain has a heart.

Nothing is black and white, after all.

He drops his head closer to mine. I hold my breath, body stiffening when his lips press against mine. I wait for the revulsion. For the hatred and anguish to hit me.

None of that comes.

When he presses his lips to me, I can imagine that the smallest part of him, the part he hides well, is all of him. How easy would kissing a man like that be?

His lips aren’t hard. They don’t mercilessly ravage mine, demanding for me to return it with equal ferocity.

Quite the contrary.

I don’t kiss him back, and he’s fine with that. He wraps his arms around me, tugging me closer to him, until my chest is flush against his. His mouth presses along mine, kissing me dotingly, and it takes everything not to cry.

I want to cry for my sister.

I want to cry for Kai, and all the ways this kiss could change our relationship if I were to allow it.

I want to cry for myself because…because I can understand why a woman tries to change a man. We see a window into their soul, and it’s hopeful. It could be beautiful, too.

Mostly, I want to cry for Captain Erickson because it’s too late for any of that. Life isn’t black and white, but it’s cruel, and sometimes the smallest window of hope isn’t enough to save a man.

But I wish…maybe I wish that his son can forge a new path, away from the vile world his father built and lost himself in.

Maybe James still has hope…if I can save him.

I spread my lips, accepting the Captain’s kiss because I know this is all the time he will have left.

I endure it. I even feel guilty.

He pulls away, looking at me now with the gentlest eyes. “Now that’s a kiss better than any violent desire.”

I merely offer him a wobbly smile.

“Another truth,” he says, and it isn’t a demand but a request.

“I won’t forget a kiss like that,” I tell him honestly.

He smiles at me triumphantly. “I think I’ll keep you around, Red.”

I can’t say anything to that. I feel a tear fall, and his eyes narrow on it. His finger comes up to wipe it away. “I still want you,” he says. “Touching me will bring you pleasure. I promise it, Red.”

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