Page 124 of Borden 3

I blinked rapidly. “Me?”

He smiled sadly at me. “Who else do I have, Emma?” Before I could reply, he added, “Besides, I pumped you up so good, Emma. She thinks you’re a fucking star.”

My eyes ached as I looked at him in surprise. “I thought you hated me.”

“I hate myself.” He paused, mulling his words over. “I needed…I needed to know what you were like. If my Emma was still in there. If…money changed you.”

I shrugged in defeat. “Same old Emma.”

“I get that.”

“But I’m different.”

“I see that, too.”

I wrung my hands together. “I tried to make a clean start. Tried to do better. Make it up to Granny for all those nights I kept her up…”

Theo nodded. “Well, she doesn’t have to worry about you anymore.”

I stared at him long and hard, thinking about the promise I’d made Borden make to me, and how important it had been for me. “Should anything happen, Theo, Stasia will be cared for.”

His shoulders dropped and he nodded, looking relieved. “Then coming back to New Raven was the best thing I ever did.”

I heard what he wasn’t saying.

It was the best thing he ever did…even if it cost him his life.

Of course any father would ensure his loved ones were looked after. Theo was no different.

I looked back up at the second floor, catching Borden’s heavy eyes.

Neither was Borden.

Within twenty four hours, I was back in the safehouse, and the boys went to war.

Chapter Forty-Fou

Emma

The cement floor felt cold under my feet as I paced back and forth. My eyes ached from lack of sleep, but there was no rest when Borden was out there, and I was stuck inside these four walls.

Back in the safehouse.

Back to this slow torture, knowing he was out there.

Hector kept side-eyeing me, looking equally tired. He was in bad shape, but still going. He would have preferred me in bed with Link, and I had been for the longest time. Link took forever to fall asleep tonight. I held him to me, though. Rested him on my chest like he was still a baby and not a babbling four year old. I didn’t even clean the bedroom up when I left the house after I’d packed, preferring to see his toys scattered everywhere—the ships and the pyjama superheroes named Owling or whatever—and it felt like he was still midway through his game.

Granny was secure somewhere else. Borden didn’t want to put her through the wringer if he came back covered in blood. I secretly wondered if he didn’t want her disapproval. If secretly, he hoped she’d accept him. She was probably crocheting at that moment. Perhaps a scarf for Link, or maybe another blanket.

“You should eat,” Hector said, for the tenth time.

“Not until he’s back,” I replied, for the tenth time.

“He wouldn’t want you to starve yourself, Emma.”

“I’m not hungry.”

When Borden was out there fighting, I felt like I was there with him. My world went quiet. The stillness, the lack of food, the pacing and the fear that one day Borden wouldn’t come through those doors.

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