Page 87 of Locke

I went quiet, letting his words sink in. “What are you saying exactly? Like…you want to take me out on a fucking date or something?”

God, that sounded so ludicrous, I had to let out a manic laugh. Tears of amusement and incredulity ran down my face as I grinned ear to ear at this psychotic man.

“Where would you take me?” I mused now before he could respond. “What the fuck does Max Locke get up to in his spare time? Do you have hobbies, Locke? You don’t strike me as the kind of guy that’ll drink a six pack of beer, watching the football highlights. Like what the fuck do you do besides kill people and stalk girls?”

“I drive,” he answered straightaway. “I buy properties, I revive businesses and I operate an underground syndicate where I’m a warlord to many criminals with very similar backgrounds. These are members that span far and wide, and lately, we’re excelling in the arms trade. We have a steady stream of customers who are fattening up our pockets. On the rare occasion, I also take on clients. I have a front to the public where I’m a lawyer, and I’m a damn fucking good one. That, little prey, is just some of the things I do on a daily basis.”

I eyed him peculiarly. “Why did you just tell me all that?”

“Because you asked.”

I shook my head. “You’re making me part of it, aren’t you?”

“Part of what exactly?”

“Part of all that illegal bullshit you’ve just spewed at me.”

“I’m bringing you in.”

“WHY?” I suddenly shouted, because this entire thing was madness, and my tears? They were coming down in streams because this entire thing hurt. “What is it about me, Locke? I’m just Kali fucking Arden, a nobody you fucked once upon a time! There’s nothing special about me, don’t you get it? So fucking stop and let me live!”

He suddenly came to a stop on the side of the road. He looked at me, his face tensing with what looked like barely contained rage. “You are NOT living, though, are you, Kali? You’re just fucking existing, and stop fucking telling me that you’re nobody. You are not invisible to me, I told you that. And I can’t get you out of my FUCKING head!” He slammed a hand against the steering wheel, that calm completely gone now as he erupted like a volcano, ranting, “I tried to let you go because Jem told me it was the right thing to do. He said I could leaf through your life and realize the fucking bullet I’d have dodged, but you know what, Kali? I did dig into your fucking life, and I thought maybe you had some wounded fucking story like your father beat you, or your mother kicked you out of your house, or something equally as traumatic, but nothing—FUCKING NOTHING—prepared me for the actual truth. You’re not just hurt, or fucking wounded, little prey, you’re fucking ruined. Broken in a way you’ll never be fixed like before. There is nothing there inside you to even fucking mend because he took that from you—”

“STOP IT!” I screamed, grabbing at the handle now. “I don’t want to fucking hear it. Don’t you dare talk about it!”

But Locke grabbed my arm as I whipped open the door and he gripped it tightly, peering at me with those bottomless dark eyes. “You and me—we’re going to happen.”

“NO!” I ripped my arm from his grip and stepped out. I ran down the vacant street, not knowing where I even was. Somewhere downtown. Familiar, sort of, but there was darkness everywhere, not a streetlight to be seen. I walked past derelict storefronts, caught a handful of homeless in the alleyways between buildings and picked up my pace, wrapping an arm around my belly as I gulped in the air around me. But the air wasn’t making it in my lungs because I was having a panic attack.

He had no right to talk about my past.

To bring him—my father—up like that.

How dare he tell me that I wasn’t just broken—like repairing me to before was not even possible. Because it was. And that was what I’d been doing for so many years—

And getting nowhere. My mind whispered. You’ve never grown from that moment. You’ve frozen solid. And the only sign of life has come from him—from Locke, and you’re pushing him away.

I made it so far, twisting and turning down the empty streets, I couldn’t even hear the car engine anymore. When I glanced back, the car wasn’t in sight, and an instant pang hit me.

I’d fled from him.

My flight response demanded that he follow.

But he must have driven off.

I stopped and pressed my back against the brick wall of a building, feeling regret and pain and hopelessness.

I’d spent my entire life here in Blackwater avoiding myself altogether. Nobody knew of my scars. Nobody ever cared to dig deeper than the surface I let them see. And I supposed that was why I was freaking the fuck out. Because here was a monster in the dark shedding light on those gaping wounds, telling me that he could see all the damaged holes in my being, and that I wasn’t alone anymore.

“I’m not trying to put out your flame. I’m just trying to get you to tame it. Together we can make a fire, little lion. Together we can burn.”

All his words made sense to me now.

He dropped his face down but not to kiss me, but to swipe his tongue along my tear-streaked cheeks. “Where the fuck have you been, little lion?”

The tears slid endlessly down my face as I croaked, “Invisible.”

He shook his head slowly. “Not anymore.”

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