Page 83 of Learning to Change

We were back to him tripping over his words, so I mimed taking another deep breath, and as he obeyed, I tried to ease my way into the conversation. “I liked seeing how you took charge when he was little. You did a great job at handling it naturally and just taking care of him. I think he really liked it too.”

As I wondered if I’d pushed too much already, he swallowed hard again and then took a deep breath without prompting. After a few seconds, he found a way to talk without having to actually say anything stressful. “He liked being taken care of and he liked the bubbles and playtime. You did a good job too.”

So we’d both acknowledged that Joel was some sort of little and we’d made sure everyone knew they’d been badass caretakers.

Seemed like a good start, so I nodded and kept up the gentle caresses. “He loved the toys you bought. Those were great. I was really impressed.”

That made Dean smile, so I knew we were inching closer to the actual pieces we needed to talk about. “I saw them in the grocery store. I went down the wrong aisle and ended up near the grocery version of internet clickbait crap. But I thought he’d have fun with them. He’s…he’s silly sometimes.”

That was one word for it.

“He loved them and it made his silly side very happy.” Okay, so it was time to ease deeper into the discussion. “He’s got a naughty slut side that wants to explore everything, but he also seems to associate submission with that silly side too.”

We were starting to get into the weeds of the situation but Dean was more relaxed than I expected, so I kept up the caresses and made sure to keep my tone relaxed. “I think knowing that you’d bought him the toys made it very clear that you approved of his silly side.”

Barely nodding so he didn’t move away from my touch, Dean let out a breath and gathered his thoughts. “So now that I’ve shown him that I approve of it, he’s looking for me to take the lead on it?”

“Possibly. But I’m not sure he’s completely thought it through?” Joel was a creature of impulse most of the time. “It might just be that part of him wanting to come out and he hasn’t figured out the right way to ask for what he wants.”

“He…he might not know what to call me.” Dean’s sigh that time was more frustration than worry. “I didn’t make that very clear.”

“Hey, neither of us were sure if he knew what he was doing.” I wasn’t sure if Dean had known what he was doing, but at some point, he seemed to have figured it out. “But I think there was one moment where he almost called you Daddy.”

I wasn’t sure if that would make Dean feel better or not, and his confused expression didn’t give me enough to go on. “He’s done a lot of research and he’s really fucking nosy. Age play has to be on his list of stuff he’s curious about. He probably just got distracted by the tails and other stuff because he was ready to have someone play with his ass.”

Dean groaned but he didn’t argue with me. “And we never talked about it.”

“It wasn’t something he’d mentioned wanting to explore, so I was focused on other stuff.” Keeping up with the dirty to-do list that Joel had given me had been hard enough. “It was a lot to learn, so I stuck with the parts I was confident he’d want to do first.”

Chuckling softly, Dean closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. “Yeah, that was basically what I did too.”

“So, see? There’s nothing to worry about with that.” Not yet, anyway. “We’re just going to tackle one thing at a time.”

Dean’s deep breath felt more cleansing than stressful, so I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss which got a shy smile from him. “So cute.”

And the blush made him even sexier.

“But I’m not going to let that distract me.” My teasing glare made him roll his eyes which said he was feeling much better. “If Joel is being a drama queen about things like chicken nuggets, then we’re going to ease into the afternoon with him being little in mind.”

Dean was feeling so much better he didn’t even blink when I said little and not silly. “Once he’s done with school shit for the day, we’ll do dinner and aim for it to be fun. Then we can do bathtime again and cartoons or something like that. I think once we give things a push in that direction, he’ll make what he wants very clear.”

“Because he’s so subtle.” Dean huffed. “I should’ve remembered that.”

Yes, he should have.

“You were a bit worried about how to talk to him about that stuff. I think that’s understandable because we kind of talked around it the other day and then it just hasn’t come up again.” Joel’s brain rabbited around on a good day.

“He’s been focused on other stuff, you’re right.” Dean nuzzled against my hand without seeming to realize what he was doing. “Did I hear him badgering you to spank him this morning?”

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Because it’s always a great idea to have your first spanking right before you have to go sit on hard seats for an hour.”

Dean managed not to laugh but it was hard. “Was he looking to torture himself even more?”

For fuck’s sake.

“I hadn’t thought about it that way.” But it was entirely possible. “Okay, spanking moved to the top of the list and depending on how the afternoon goes, we’ll do late tonight or first thing in the morning.”

Maybe?

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