Page 46 of Learning to Change

Yep, he didn’t believe me at all and Tate’s snicker said he was in agreement…and that he thought we were cute.

They were both brats.

“Yes, I’m good with the words and descriptions we’ve been using for my penis. I’m going to vote for those being alright with Tate’s interesting acquaintance as long as he understands were being happily humiliating and not the mean kind.” Joel shrugged. “He needs to understand our goals if he’s going to be helpful, no matter if he plays along.”

That was a good point, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t worry about it.

“What…what about him touching you?” When they both looked at me and cocked their heads, I knew I had to explain what I meant. “If he…I don’t know how cages work, but if they’re like clothes, he might need to measure you to see if stuff fits right.”

I hadn’t thought that was stupid but I felt a lot better when they both ended up with light-bulb-over-their-head expressions.

Joel was bouncing his head from side to side, obviously trying to look adorable as he thought about it, but he was thinking about it.

Tate was more subtle but his eyes were shifting between the two of us. “How do you feel about that?”

Shit.

“Um, I haven’t thought about that enough to be honest. It was the first worry that popped into my head that seemed rational.” I’d done a pretty good job of keeping the irrational ones under control. “I’m not sure? Is that an answer?”

It didn’t seem like one, but they both nodded.

“Of course.” Joel gave me another kiss, one that wasn’t quite so manipulative. “You figured out a question but we might need time to answer it.”

Okay, that was good.

“What are you guys feeling?” They were never feeling the same things I was, so I wasn’t surprised when they started trading weird looks again. “Honest. What were your first thoughts?”

I was a worrier but I wasn’t stupid.

“I have to admit that part of it sounds sexy as long as I’m in control.” Tate shrugged as Joel giggled. “Yeah, it’s the control thing for me with that one and it being someone I know. I’m not dragging Joel to a sketchy bar where everyone’s going to want to grab his dick, but in a more private setting that I control…I can see being okay with that.”

Joel was trying to look too cute to be that innocent, so I just raised one eyebrow and tried to channel Tate. “And you? You’re too naughty to be completely against it.”

And that got more wicked giggles from him.

“As long as you and Tate are in charge and it’s not my fault.” He raised his hands in a very what can I do kind of way. “I like the idea of turning you guys on, but I think that’s where the fun would come into it for me.”

That actually made a lot of sense to me, and I found myself nodding. “I can understand that. You know us more and your fantasies are going to involve us.”

“Yes.” Giving a little wiggle, he sat straighter and must’ve clenched his cheeks based on how Tate groaned. “They involve you guys.”

Just us, probably.

“The idea of you showing me off is fun.” Joel gave a happy dance that had Tate nearly rolling his eyes. “I might be an exhibitionist where you’re concerned, but you don’t have to worry about me wandering off to get attention somewhere else.”

Because that was way too hard for him.

A tiny part of me pointed out how that’d come across but I knew what he’d meant. It really was too difficult for him to date other people and be happy. At the beginning of the relationship, everyone went faster than he did. There was never the warmup time that he needed before he could get to the good parts.

But he didn’t have to worry about that with us.

“I…I really don’t need to safeword about the showing you off part.” I wasn’t sure I was the one who could lead us into the scene or shenanigans or whatever we were going to call it, but I wouldn’t call a halt to it unless it went way too far. “And I will make sure I’m clear about where my boundaries turn out to be.”

That earned me a beaming smile from Joel. “Communication is so important, but you have to promise to be just as open when we pick out board games.”

And I was back to being confused.

I wasn’t even sure where to begin but he bounced up from Tate’s lap before I could find a starting point. “I’m going to get a shower. We need to be clean before we can buy games and sex toys. No dirty penises in the fun stores.”

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