Page 34 of Fool's Gold

I flop down face-first on the bed, set up for guests and obviously not meant to be comfortable or personal. Exhaustion turns my arms and legs into stone. Head buried in the pillow, I focus on every inhale.

When are things going to feel easier?

It seems like the last year or so has been one kick in the ass after another, and honestly, I don’t know what it says about me as a person, but I’m not sure how much more I can take. Without an end in sight, these are the circumstances where people take up drinking or drugs. Or sex.

I reach out to grab the pillow and turn on my side, clutching it to my chest, breathing in deeply.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

Marcus doesn’t startle me. Even though my heart lurches when I glance up and see him looming in the doorway. Alone.

Lipstick is smeared on his lips and his cheek. Bright and bold and a glaring neon sign pointing out what they did. What he allowed her to do to him.

And enjoyed, a vile voice in my head whispers, “He enjoyed kissing her more than he’s ever enjoyed kissing you. Why else do you think he always says no?”

I’m not going to take it anymore. And I don’t have to.

The driver is probably still downstairs, and if not, I’ve got money. I’ve got the means.

“No, we’re not going to fucking talk about it, Marcus.” Even his name hurts, but I force myself to say it anyway. “There’s nothing to say. I think it’s best for me to get out of here and take some time on my own.” Away from him and away from these feelings.

He makes a grab for me as I duck underneath his arm. My bag is right where I left it in the hallway, and I scoop it up in a single motion.

“You’re not leaving the apartment.” He thunders after me, but I’ve already got my hand on the doorknob. “Empire. Stop.”

His groan ghosts me out into the hallway.

“Jesus fucking Christ. When are you going to stop acting like a spoiled—”

I whip around and hold out a hand, my throat scalded and everything else raw. “Don’t say it. Don’t say another word.”

“Get back in the apartment. Running off isn’t going to do shit, and you know it.”

Maybe not, but it will make me feel a little bit better, and right now, I’ve got to take what I can get.

He’s not fast enough to catch me before I’m inside the elevator, the doors slamming shut on his glowering face.

That’s the expression I associate with him these days, more than anything else. He’s always angry about something. Always egotistical and acting like he knows better than everyone else, even though it feels like he’s fucking it all up.

It’s hard to catch my breath, and I slam a hand against the cool wall as the elevator glides to the bottom floor.

I’ve got my purse and nothing else. My feet are sore from the heels I’ve had to wear all day, my leg muscles cramping and my head spinning in useless circles.

No, things aren’t going to get any easier for me or lighter to handle unless I get away from Marcus. I might want to be underneath him, but not his thumb or his heel. Not when he’s slowly pressing down, and every day is harder to get through.

Whatever deal he has going on with these awful people, I don’t want to be a part of it. And Celeste showing up at his apartment proves it to me. He’s playing around with things that can hurt people, and for all his protests to the contrary, I’m the casualty.

The doors open, and I catch sight of the driver in deep conversation with the doorman. So he hasn’t left yet. It couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes since he dropped me off, but it feels like a lifetime.

Both of them snap to attention at my approach.

“Take me to 825 Glanville Drive.” I rattle out the address without stopping, heading for the doors.

Knowing him, Marcus is probably already on his way down the stairs, trying to intercept me. Or on his phone, telling the driver to stay here under threat of death.

There are plenty of cabs either way.

Luckily for me, the wheels are in motion faster than my ragged mind is able to follow. Only once I’m sprawled across the leather with the driver taking me to River’s place do I relax. My tight chest begins to loosen, but every part of me is constricted from the interaction with Marcus and Greg, and then just now with Celeste.

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