Page 59 of Whatever You Want

My forehead wrinkled. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

“I want to believe that this chick is only temporary, but I don’t know you anymore, so I can’t be sure. I wouldn’t put it past you to shack up with her and try to take my daughter from me.”

“Vanessa, that’s absurd.”

She folded her arms and glared at me. “Which part?”

“Okay. Let’s get something straight.” I held my hands out. “Things between Ava and I are new. There are no plans for us to live together yet…” I stopped and ran a hand through my hair. “But I’m not going to lie, I see a future with her. When the time comes, not if, you will have to accept that.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Vanessa.” I sighed. “This needs to stop. You and I are never getting back together. Stop with the games. Stop with the drama and stop putting Brina in the middle.”

She leaned across the breakfast bar, putting the tits that cost me six months of overtime on full display. I knew exactly what she was doing. My hands folded along the countertop in frustration. She smirked when she caught me looking, thinking I was checking her out when really, I wanted to take a hot shower and scrub my eyes out. I wouldn’t touch her if she were the last woman on earth.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this? You know you’re never going to get what we had with anyone else.”

“You’re right.” I gritted my teeth. “I already have better.”

“You bastard,” she shouted, and I glanced across the room to make sure the doors and windows were shut. “I’m not going to let some bitch and her sad story take you away from me. You don’t get a happily ever after with the pitiful widow. That happily ever after belongs to me.”

All I saw was red. “News flash! I don’t belong to you! You stopped getting a say in how I live my life the day the ink dried on those divorce papers. We ended for a reason. I’ve moved on and I won’t let you fuck this up for me. You may have gotten away with it in the past, but I’m warning you.” I pointed my finger at her. “Mark my words, you mess with her and you’ll regret it.”

She reached out and slapped her hand across my cheek, sending it sideways. “I’ve got a news flash of my own. If I can’t have you, then neither can she. Consider yourself warned. I’m about to make your life a living hell!”

I wanted to reach out and throttle her, but I couldn’t. Putting my hands on a woman went against everything I believed in. Instead, I stood there and watched her storm for the door.

She whipped around; her body was vibrating with rage. I gripped the back of the chair to keep myself still. “You can bring Brina to me when she gets back. And when you’re done, you can go fuck yourself!”

I picked up my coffee cup and threw it across the room.

That went well.

I couldn’t even sleep last night knowing what today was. Every day this month, I would look at the calendar, stare at the date, and hope it would disappear. No matter how much I tried to fight the sadness, everything inside me ached. Drew and I should be getting ready for our anniversary dinner. He would be on the bed, telling me to hurry up because I was always late. He’d tease me while scrolling through his phone and kiss me when I was done and tell me how beautiful I looked. God, I missed him so much.

I stroked his face through the glass frame as the memory of our wedding day played out in my mind, making it hurt even more. I hugged the picture to my chest and sobbed. I knew I wasn’t the first woman to lose her husband, and I wouldn’t be the last, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

My eyes drifted over to my ringing cell phone. I’ve already gotten calls from Amelia, my mom, and a few of our mutual friends. All have gone unanswered, but ignoring Logan was the last thing I wanted to do.

The ringing stopped and started again. I grabbed a tissue out of the box and tried to pull myself together. Just when my life was finally getting more manageable, today had to show up and punch me in the face.

“Hey,” I answered, trying to sound strong and not like I’d been crying nonstop. He didn’t need to worry about me or how I wanted to hide away from the world today.

“Ava.” There was stress in his voice. “Is everything okay?”

I guess I wasn’t good at faking it. I wanted to downplay things and pretend everything was fine, but he would only figure out I was lying, so what was the point.

“Today is my wedding anniversary.” I wiped my hand across my cheek, trying to get the tears to stop falling.

The line went silent.

“I …” he started and stopped. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

I rubbed at my stinging eyes, feeling physically and mentally exhausted. “You don’t have to apologize, but I bet you’re sorry you asked.”

This time, he didn’t even hesitate. “I’m glad you told me. I just don’t like hearing you so sad. It makes me feel helpless.” He was quiet for a moment, and that only allowed the awkwardness to linger between us. “Do you want me to leave you alone?” he asked, giving me a minute to think that over. I liked that he was giving me a choice. That he wasn’t pushing me to talk about it. He seemed to always know what I needed.

“No.” My voice cracked as I tried to pull myself together. “It’s okay.”

---