Page 57 of Whatever You Want

He rubbed her back softly and kissed her cheek. “And miss watching you do cannonballs and dive into the deep end?” He shook his head. “No way am I leaving until I see that.”

The girls rushed off, leaving us alone. I don’t know why I suddenly felt nervous; maybe I should have thought this through, instead of just winging it.

Logan stood up and squeezed my shoulder. “I’m going inside to get changed and give you guys time to catch up.”

Jeremy’s eyes followed him with curiosity as he disappeared into the house. He leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his drink. “I guess you forgot to mention a few things.”

Jeremy and I have always gotten along. He was Drew’s best friend, and suddenly it felt like we were at odds with each other.

“Whatever you want to say, just say it.”

“This is a lot to take in, Ava. I want you and Madison to be happy, but I also want to look out for you.”

“I appreciate that, Jeremy, but I’m capable of taking care of myself.” I laced my fingers together and took a calming breath. “There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss Drew. I will always love him, but I’m ready to move on. I’m sick of being lonely. It sucks. I want to be happy again.”

“You’re human, of course, you’ll want to move on, but I have questions.” He ran his hand through his hair and looked off to the side. “I don’t know this guy. You and Madison have been through so much. Drew and I talked about this. I promised him that if anything ever happened that I would make sure you and Madison were okay.” I wiped my eyes, not being the least bit surprised by that. Drew didn’t trust many people; Jeremy might have been the only one. “Look, Ava. I’m not trying to upset you, but seeing you with someone else is weird.”

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it gently. “He’s a great guy. Give him a chance.”

He swallowed thickly. “I’ve known you long enough to know that this wasn’t an easy decision to make. As long as he treats you and Madison right.”

“He does,” I rushed out.

“I will always be here for you both, no matter what.”

I burst into tears, overwhelmed with so many different emotions. His approval meant more to me than he ever could imagine. We sat for the next hour, while the girls splashed around in the pool, and the guys talked about sports. It didn’t take them long to ease into friendly conversation. By the end of the visit, I was beginning to feel like a third wheel. Logan went out of his way to be respectful of Jeremey, and it was noticed and appreciated. When it was time to leave, it felt like we had turned a corner.

“Dad.” Brina’s soft voice woke me up from a sound sleep. “Can I sleep with you?”

I lifted the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” This is the second weekend in a row where she’s come into my room in the middle of the night.

“I miss sleeping in your bed like I did when I was little.” I brushed a piece of her hair back and studied her. Brina used to have a hard time falling asleep when she was younger. Either Vanessa or I would have to lie down with her until she passed out. I was convinced it was because of all the arguing that took place between her mother and me. After our divorce, I suggested she see a therapist to help with the change and transition. Vanessa was against it. She thought it was just a phase that she would grow out of. Things did get better for a while; it wasn’t until Ava and I talked to the girls about us being together that I noticed a slight change in her behavior.

I ran a soothing hand up and down her arm. “Honey, you’re getting too old to sleep in my bed.”

Cuddling with my daughter when she was three and four wasn’t a big deal, but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate at age nine.

Her bottom lip trembled. “Can you lie down with me then? Just until I fall asleep.”

I rubbed at my eyes. “Sure.”

I stopped in the kitchen and poured her a glass of water. She climbed into her bed, and I set the glass on her nightstand.

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” I asked, knowing this wasn’t just a bad dream where she woke up scared.

She played with the hem of her nightgown. “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Brina,” I said, my body filling with concern. “You will not get in trouble for telling me whatever it is that has you upset. Let’s talk about it and see if there is anything I can do to help.”

She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “Are you going to move in with Ava and Madison?”

I drew back, unprepared for that question. “I don’t have plans to do that at the moment. Why are you worried about that?”

Ava and I have been taking things slow. We were slowly easing our girls into this new dynamic. Both girls have already been through so much change, so the last thing we wanted to do was push them into something they weren’t ready for. It was surprising that Madison was handling things better than Brina. While the four of us still did things together, we kept those visits to one or two days a week. Brina seemed clingier than usual, and it baffled me because she loved Ava and Madison.

“I overheard Mom talking on the phone.” Her big blue eyes stared back at me. They were the same color as Vanessa’s, yet so full of innocence. “She said if you moved in with her that I wouldn’t be allowed to see you anymore. She called Ava some bad names.”

I fought the anger that immediately swelled inside me. No matter how hard I tried to be the better person, the truth was, my ex-wife was a hateful and malicious human being. The world was full of bad people that I desperately wanted to protect my daughter from. It sucked that one of those people had to be her own mother.

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