Page 12 of Whatever You Want

“Don’t worry, I wrap it up tight.” I watched in horror as he poured a mountain of salt over his eggs. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

“Considering you gave me my first Playboy magazine and box of condoms, I’m not sure about that. I still have PTSD from Mom’s shriek when she found them under my bed.”

A loud, boisterous chuckle rumbled from his chest. “That’s what older brothers are for.”

“Yeah, some older brother.” I held out my coffee cup as the waitress was walking by. Once she refilled it and was out of earshot, I said, “You knew that was a shitty hiding spot. I’m convinced you didn’t tell me on purpose.”

He grinned. “You were so damned stupid. It was so fucking hysterical though listening to you try to talk your way out of it.”

I slumped in my seat. That was hands down one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I lied and told my parents that it was research for my biology class. I never anticipated my mom calling the school to talk to my teacher, Mrs. Hellmes. I cringed every time that memory popped up of me sitting in the guidance office trying to explain why those magazines and condoms were really under my bed. Kids don’t realize how lucky they are to have digital technology today.

“Listen, as much as I’m loving this trip down memory lane, I have a favor to ask you.” He took a sip of his orange juice while I eyed him skeptically. I knew before he even asked that I was about to be guilted into doing something that I didn’t want to do.

“What’s up?” I asked, even though I would pretty much do anything for him.

“Kenzi is having a get-together next weekend. She asked me to bring you.”

“No.”

“Come on. What’s the big deal? You already slept with her.”

I pointed my finger at him. “Exactly. It was five months ago, and she’s still texting me.”

“So?”

“I haven’t texted her back. Can you say stage five fucking clinger?”

He laughed. “She’s not that bad. Plus, she’s hot.”

“Then why don’t you go out with her?”

“We work together. I don’t date people I have to see every day.”

Luke was an eleventh-grade history teacher, and Kenzi taught English at the same school. While she was nice and attractive, she wasn’t my type. She was too nice, too sweet. There wasn’t anything memorable about her. There wasn’t a spark or a connection, at least on my end. Sleeping with her all those months ago was a mistake. I was her date for a wedding, and we had a hotel room, so it was kind of expected. What was not expected was for her not to follow the rules when I explained it was a one-time thing. I hated when a woman said they understood and turned around and acted like they were hurt because you didn’t want anything serious.

I looked around the restaurant and took a sip of my black coffee. “Sorry, but I’m busy next weekend.”

“You’re so full of shit. And before you use Brina as an excuse, I know for a fact that she is with Satan next weekend.”

My ex-wife wasn’t very popular with my family. They only put up with her for Brina’s sake.

“I’m not using my daughter as an excuse to get out of seeing a woman I have no desire to see again. Like I said, I’m busy.”

The waitress came over to take our plates. As she was scooping them up, Luke bent over and scraped his fork along the dish to get the last bit of hash. “Okay, so what exactly are these big plans of yours?”

I played with the straw in my water glass. “Just a few projects I’ve been putting off around the house that need to get done.”

He stopped licking his fork and stared at me. “Alone?”

“Is there a crime against staying in on a Saturday night?”

“Well, if there was, I would hope you would know.”

Leaning back in my seat, I scratched at the stubble on my chin. “Regardless of what you think, I don’t need to go out and get laid every weekend.”

“Maybe not, but I’ve known you since birth. I used to change your dirty diapers, remember? You are holding out on me, and something tells me avoiding the cute little English teacher isn’t the only reason why you’re saying no.”

My eyes rolled so far back in my head, I was surprised they didn’t get stuck. “You are two years older than me. I find it hard to believe that you would remember that.”

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