Page 39 of Knot Giving Up 2

“Do you really think me being on the team will keep you from getting a medal?”

I huff out a breath. “If I thought that, you wouldn’t be here. I agreed to let you on the team. Just like everyone else.”

I pop a squat on the mat and try some simple toe touches, but Meggie doesn’t back off. She sits cross-legged at my feet and puts her pretty face inches from mine.

“Is this about Nils?” Her touch on my arm makes me jerk away and switch positions into a low lunge.

“I’m not trying to get between you two. Nils really cares about you, and I’m happy for you. This doesn’t have to be a competition.”

“Everything’s a competition.” I get a sense of déjà vu, remembering saying the same thing to Nils a few days ago. The words come so quickly, so naturally. They’re like a creed built into my soul.

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

She’s so persistent. It’s annoying. Damn sexy, too. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then help me understand.” Her cool hand lands on my knee, as much a plea as her words. Why the hell does she have to keep touching me? It’s unnerving.

When I sigh, my breath moves the little strands of hair around her face. She’s too fucking close, and it’s clear she won’t back off until I give her something. But if I’m going to tell this story, I’m gonna need to move.

Taking her hand in mine, I stand and pull her to her feet. “Come on.”

Leading out of the gym, I make a path out the building and towards the river. I’ve always found water comforting. Maybe it’s that fire sign in me needing a counter balance.

“I’ve got seven siblings.” I speed up, needing the motion to keep myself talking. “All alphas. Until the youngest. My sister. An omega.”

Meggie’s quiet, but she keeps pace with my fast steps. It’s bright out today and I have to shield my eyes with my hand and keep my gaze straight ahead, which makes this a lot easier. I don’t want to look at her while I tell her this.

“When Sadie was born, everyone in the family doted on her. Of course, we didn’t know she was an omega, but there was just something about her that wrapped everyone around her little finger. Everyone except me. I don’t know what it was. Maybe the fact that I had been the youngest until she came along. Maybe our personalities just clashed, but the two of us always had a difficult relationship. I was never her favorite, and by extension, I lost my brothers. They spent more and more time protecting and caring for Sadie, and less and less time hanging out with me. I became the black sheep.”

Meggie squeezes my hand. The Seine comes into view. Little boats dot the water, tourists trying to get a look inside the Olympic Village.

“I started spending more time with my friends and less time with my family. I had a good group of friends. Or I thought so.” Now that I’ve started the story, it comes more easily, like something’s unlocked in my chest and everything inside wants to escape. I’ve never told any of the guys this. Not even Nils. I’m not sure I’ve talked about it with anyone.

Meggie takes my hand, like she knows I need the support to continue. Sometimes I think the pain I still feel about it isn’t warranted, like I’m overreacting. Lots of people have gone through harder rejections and more painful experiences. I tell myself I shouldn’t talk about it, don’t deserve to dwell on it, because it’s not that big a deal. But to me, it is. And Meggie’s hand in mine makes me think that maybe she’ll understand that.

“There were four of us. We were tight throughout high school and always planned on starting a pack together. But then, when we were nineteen, things just sort of fell apart. One of the guys met a girl and bonded her. Fast, too. They’d only known each other a few weeks. He didn’t even know her designation since it hadn’t come in yet.”

I remember the day he told us so clearly. It was December, and he was wearing this stupid red shirt with mistletoe on it. He was so excited he spilled his coffee on his shirt and I gave him mine. I never did get that shirt back.

“He told us it wouldn’t change anything. That we’d still be a pack, just with another member. But she didn’t like the rest of us, and it wasn’t long before she convinced him to form his own pack.”

“What about the other two?”

“They were always closer with each other than with me, so over time, I became the third wheel.” I risk a glance at Meggie and find her looking back at me. “It’s fine. I’m not upset about it anymore. It just feels like…”

“No one’s ever choosing you.” She stops walking, steps in front of me, and takes both my hands in hers. Her head tilts to the side like she’s trying to figure something out. “I think we all know where this is going, and I don’t want you to doubt that you’re a part of it, McQuinn. I want you to be a part of it.” The look on her face is so intense and sincere it makes my throat feel tight. “I choose you.”

“Why?" I ask. "You don’t even like me?”

Her smile is radiant. “I like you a lot when you’re not being an asshole. You’re passionate and ridiculously loyal. You’re funny. You drink too many salted caramel mocha frappuccinos and you need better taste in music, but you have great taste in books, and you’ve got perfect freckles and a smile that changes your entire face when you let it out.” She gets an adorable little smirk. “And you’re hot as hell.”

“You don't really know me.”

“That can be changed.” Her eyes dance with mischief, and she tugs on my hand, pulling me down the path. “Let’s change it now.”

For a second, I think she’s going back to our little apartment, but she heads towards security instead.

I pull my athlete's pass out of my pocket. “Where are we going?”

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