Page 37 of Finding Limits

“Listen, kid. I didn’t know your mom all too well, but I got the impression she was a good person. She would have wanted you to have everythin’.” I think back to the Naomi I vaguely knew. I remember her smiling, and making people laugh.

“We’ll find her,” I assure him, standing back up. “In the meantime, you just keep doin’ what you're doin’. We’ll look into gettin’ them tests done, and until we know for sure we’ll keep this to ourselves.”

Hunter nods back in agreement.

“You should have told me.” I point my finger at him. “Take that as your lesson of the day. Never, ever assume. Ya ask anyone around here who knows me, I don’t shy away from responsibility. I took my nephew in when he was just a kid. If I’da known I had a kid of my own out there things would’ve been different for you.”

I can sense by the way he half smiles back at me that he trusts in what I’m telling him.

“I gotta get back and check on Everleigh, she had a therapy session today. You know where I am if ya need me.”

“I’ll keep workin’ on that mare,” he assures me, standing up himself and starting to unpack his clothes.

“Keep up the good work, son.” I tap him on the back before walking back out the door. Once I'm out in the fresh air, I’m surprised to find the yard still running the same as it was before he dropped the huge grenade on me. I take a few minutes to get my head around all the information I’ve just been given.

“The kid okay?” Garrett asks as he rides past me toward the gate.

“Yeah, he’s fine.” I shrug it off because I’m not ready to share the fact I could have a son who I’ve let down his entire life just yet.

“Good, hard workers like him are hard to find. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.” He digs his heels into Thunder’s belly and takes off, while I head for the stable to get JD so I can go home.

Samatha left an hour ago, and she seemed impressed with my progress. I told her about my journal entries, and I told her about Savannah. What I didn’t tell her about was how much closer I’ve gotten to Mitch. I’m sure she would believe that what I feel for him is some kind of side effect of my trauma, but I know that it’s deeper than that.

Being around Mitch reminds me of the first time Addison told me a fairytale. Those kinds of books were banned from our village, but her best friend Charlie always seemed to find a way of getting us treats from the outside. She kept the fairytale book under a floorboard in our room, and late some nights when we were sure our parents were sleeping, she’d read me the stories in her softest whisper. Stories that always ended so perfectly, with love and happily ever afters. But the beasts didn’t turn into princes where we came from. There was no happiness or love, just punishment and control. Mitch gives me that warmth in my heart and the thrill of hope that I’d always feel after hearing one of those stories. I really believe we could have a happy ever after here, in this simple cabin with each other's company.

He comes home earlier than I expected and when he walks through the door, I instantly sense that he has something on his mind.

“How was your session?” He hangs up his hat and slides his hand through his gray hair.

“It was good, Samantha seemed happy with me.” I want to go to him, wrap my arms around his waist, and rest my head on his shoulder, but something in the way he’s holding himself is keeping me distanced.

“That’s good to hear.” He smiles, and although his voice is soothing, I can tell he’s not fully here with me.

“And your day?” I ask, hoping that whatever burden he carries he will share. I may be working through my issues but I want to be the person he can talk to when he’s had a bad day.

“Darlin’, you wouldn’t believe me if I told ya.” He shakes his head and takes a seat at the table, spacing out and staring at its wood surface.

“Try me.” I sit beside him and take his hand in mine.

“I took on a kid at the ranch about a week ago. Hard worker, nice guy,” he starts off, then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I found out today that that kid could very well be my son.” He opens them back up again and waits for my reaction.

“A son?” It takes me completely off guard, so I can’t imagine how he must be feeling.

“Hunter was adopted at birth, his mother never told me about him, but somehow managed to get my name on his birth certificate. He came here lookin’ for me and I don’t know what he was expectin’ to find, but I feel like I’ve let him down.”

“I doubt that. Savannah tells me that all the Carsons and the bunkhouse boys look up to you.” I squeeze his hand a little tighter, and he stares at it and shakes his head.

“All those years I was here, tryin’ to make decent men outta the Carson brothers, then Dalton. I used to wonder how their own father could have been so useless. And all that time I had my own flesh and blood out there being raised by another man.”

“It's not your fault.” I can tell how devastated he is and wish there was a way I could make him feel better.

“The whole ride back here, I’ve thought about all the things I’ve missed out on. I never got serious enough with anyone to become a father, but I always imagined I’d be kinda good at it. I’m proud every day when I see how far those Carson men have come, and I take a lotta honor in bein’ a small part of it. I should be feelin’ that about my own boy.” He hangs his head and I instantly get up and place myself on his lap.

“You didn’t know, Mitch. None of this is your fault. But Hunter’s here now, and you have all those opportunities to be his father.” My eyes well with tears when I imagine how it would feel to have that opportunity for myself. Then my sadness turns to hate when I think about the man who took that from me.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't be troublin’ ya with this. Ignore me, I’ll make us somethin’ to eat.”

“I was actually thinking that maybe we could go somewhere?” I chew on my nail and wait for his reaction.

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