Page 79 of Raze

I imagine wrapping my hand around her little black-feathered friend's body and crushing the life outta it. But instead, I pick up one of the seeds she keeps in a bowl and feed it to him.

He pecks it outta my finger and I slide back into the chair and grip at my hair to stop me from rushing to my bike and going after her.

I should have learned from my past that in this life there can only be one thing that matters. Men like me can’t have the best of both worlds.

“Sorry to interrupt ya, Boss.” The door to my hut opens, and when Ruckus steps inside, I can see from the look on his face that he’s feeling awkward.

“Wrath sent Dev, Saint, and Rocco off to get rid of the Reapers' bodies. He sent me down here to ask what you want us to do with Griller.” He looks down sadly.

I stare at the table feeling numb. We lost a member of the club today due to my stupidity.

“I’ll call his mother.” I lean forward and rest my elbows on the table.

“For now take him into church, lay him out on the table, and have one of the girls clean him up.”

“Sure thing.” He turns to leave but stops himself.

“Look, Raze. I don’t know what all that shit with Peyton and the Reapers was about but–”

“That’s not our concern anymore,” I interrupt him, I don’t wanna discuss her right now. I have to think straight and move fast. The Reapers need to pay for what they did here today and right now I’m feeling in the mood to live up to my name.

My men don’t seem to have the same fighting spirit when I head back up to the club a few hours later. Everyone’s sitting around with somber faces. The door to church is open and I can see Alicia sitting in Wrath’s chair crying as she holds Griller’s hand in hers.

A guy I don’t recognize closes up his medical bag and nods to Ruckus and I watch Ruckus hand him some cash before I move to the bar and stand beside Wrath.

“Whiskey, straight,” I tell Polly, noticing the way he’s looking at me but choosing to ignore it. I know he’d taken a fondness to Peyton, everyone around here did. But I have to stick to my word and think logically. We can’t have people here who we don’t trust.

“I’ll make sure the club reimburses you for that,” I tell Ruckus after he’s seen the guy out and joins us, then picking up my whiskey I knock it back. “What a fuckin’ day.” I shake my head.

“What a fuckin’ day… Is that all you got to say? Griller’s fuckin’ dead.” Wrath raises his voice at me and sends the whole club into silence.

“I know that, Wrath, I’m the one who just had to call his mom and tell her she won’t be seeing her boy this Sunday.” I stand up a little straighter, because I can feel all that tension that’s been brewing between us since he arrived has reached its head.

“You let her go.” He steps into my space and shakes his head in disappointment. “You threw the woman you love out on the streets before you gave her any chance to fuckin’ explain.” I feel my pulse tick when he mentions Peyton. How fuckin’ dare he?

“She was a liar, and you know how I feel abo–”

“Why don’t you try bein’ fuckin’ honest with yourself, Raze? You’ve been waiting for somethin’ like this to happen so you could push her away.” He shakes his head at me as if I’m the one who let him down.

“Who the fuck d’ya think you’re speakin’ to?” I shove him in the shoulder to knock him back. Wrath needs to shut his mouth and sit the fuck down.

“I’m speakin’ to someone I used to look up to, someone I wanted to be once, and someone who I fuckin failed,” he admits, not caring who hears him. “You preach to everyone about how you value fuckin’ honesty but you lied to me.” His bright blue eyes glisten with more than just rage, Aaron Adams is hurting.

“I ain’t ever lied to you.” I shake my head, maybe I’ve kept quiet on a few matters that no longer concern him but never have I lied.

“You told me you’d forgiven me for what happened to Eden, but you haven’t. I see the fuckin’ disappointment in your eyes every time you look at me. And I know for damn sure that you didn’t ask me to come back here to help you build this place up. You dragged me back to make me suffer it with you because deep down, you wanna punish me.”

“You got it all wrong.” I turn my back on him and head for the door, I ain’t got the energy for this, not after all that’s happened today.

“That’s right, Raze, walk away. Just like you always do. What happened to the fighter in you?”

“Oh, shit.” I hear Ruckus speak under his breath when I stop and slowly turn back around.

“There he is.” Wrath winds me up some more “So we gonna go one on one?” He cracks his knuckles.

“You don’t want that kid.” I shake my head.

“See that’s where you’re wrong. I’m not a kid anymore, and the only way we’re gonna settle all this tension between us is if we get this done. I challenge you to the pool pit.”

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