Page 59 of Raze

“She wanted to clear the air?” Wrath repeats looking unconvinced.

“That’s right.” I nod.

“Well, you might have some clearin’ of your own to do because your old lady stormed outta here looking pretty pissed,” Ruckus interrupts and without asking any more questions, I head off to find her.

Ifeed Reggie his seeds one by one, trying not to let jealousy eat away at me. I’m sure there's a very logical reason why Raze’s, stunning, mature ex-girlfriend came here to see him today. Reggie squawks at me to let me know I’m not going fast enough and when the door to the hut opens, Raze strolls inside as if nothing’s happened.

“You left without sayin’ goodbye,” he says, taking off his cut and hanging it by the door. I turn my back on him and face the other way, refusing to give him a response. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anyway. Beg him to tell me what she said, yell at him for lying to me about never having his heart broken?

“Peyton, d’ya wanna talk about the fact Stacey stopped by?” he asks, sounding perfectly reasonable, but I haven't sat here and built myself up for a reasonable conversation, I’m worked up for a fight.

“Peyton.” He says my name again, sounding slightly more agitated, and when he steps around my body so he’s in front of me, I turn my head in the opposite direction and continue to feed Reggie his seeds.

“Peyton, will ya stop feedin’ that dumb-ass bird and look at me?” I look down at Reggie in shock but still ignore him.

“You know what? I came down here to have a grown-up, civilized conversation with you about what just happened, but clearly you ain’t ready to do that.” He starts marching back toward the door and snatches up his cut.

“You lied to me,” I speak up before he can leave. “You told me that you’d never had your heart broken, and then, there she is. The woman who did it, walking straight past me and into your office.” There, it’s out and he scratches the back of his neck as he walks back toward me.

“She had somethin’ she wanted to tell me,” he explains in a low, soft voice that I’m sure is supposed to reassure me.

“That’s it, she had something that she wanted to tell you?” I laugh at him for thinking that, that even touches on being an explanation.

“Okay, what do you think she came here for?” He loses his patience and snaps.

“I don’t know but you were very quick to take her into your office.” I fold my arms and look back at him, accusingly.

“Wait, you… you think...” He starts to laugh at me and it frustrates me even more.

“Peyton, there is nothin’ between me and Stacey anymore.”

“Except the fact she broke your heart and you felt the need to lie to me about it.” I make my point very bluntly, despite feeling like a hypocrite.

“I didn’t lie to ya, I just didn’t wanna get into it,” he explains.

“Because what she did still hurts.” I don’t know why the thought of that upsets me so much. Everyone has a past and his was bound to have involved another woman at some point.

“No, what she did is irrelevant to me now, but bein’ with you and allowin’ this to happen…” He flicks his fingers between us. “..has forced me to open myself up to that chance of it happenin’ again, and that scares me.” I can read in his face that he’s being brutally honest, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling deceived.

“Well, I hope you and her figured it out.” I smile back at him sarcastically before heading over to the kitchen to clean something, as a distraction. I know that part of me is overreacting, but I’ve never been in a relationship before. I have no idea how to handle all the new emotions I’ve been feeling lately.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” I sigh, and when I spin around, and see that he’s gone. I feel an ache in the pit of my stomach, and the depressing ‘caw’ that Reggie makes just about sums everything up.

I’m far too wound up to be getting into an argument with Peyton right now. Especially since she’s right. I shoulda been honest with her from the start and admitted I’d been hurt. I was just too damn proud. Maybe I could have handled what happened, back at the club, a little better too, and shown her some reassurance before I took Stacey into my office. But I was in shock, I never expected to ever see that woman again and I certainly never expected her to know where my sister was.

I find myself standing under a tree, looking across the street at the studio my sister owns. It’s real fancy with a full glass front and a few mannequins dotted around on podiums inside. I stand with my shoulder resting on the trunk, smoking cigarette after cigarette as I watch her sitting on a stool and sketching something. A woman paces in front of her throwing out instructions and occasionally looks over her shoulder to look at Eden’s progress. I couldn’t be prouder of her for what she’s achieved, even if she has been sailing a little close to the wind being so close to Cliff and the club.

The woman eventually leaves the studio, pulling down her sunglasses before getting into a chauffeur-driven car and I debate if I should cross the street and take Stacey’s advice. The thought of her wanting me to think she was dead hurt beyond measure, but now I know it wasn’t her choice. It changes things. She’s achieved so much and maybe she’s strong enough to forgive me now.

I’m about to take a step forward when another fancy car pulls up outside the studio doors. A handsome man, wearing a suit, steps out and straightens the sleeves of his jacket before he heads for the door.

They burst open before he can get to them and when my sister comes running out, I smile to myself as she leaps onto him and wraps her arms around his neck the way Peyton does with me. It’s a bittersweet moment seeing her so happy. Sweet because whoever this guy is, it’s obvious she’s in love with him. Bitter, because I know how much Wrath is gonna hurt that he ain’t him.

I watch the guy kiss her and gently place her back on her feet, then after she’s locked the studio door and pulled down the shutter, he holds the car door open for her to get inside.

I rest my head back against the tree trunk and take a breath. It’s very clear that my little sister doesn’t need me, and despite all I said about leaving her be, standing here and realizing that, really hurts.

Seeing Stacey today also brought something else to light, something that I’m too afraid to admit, even to myself.

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