Page 46 of Raze

“Peyton, you're my old lady now, it’s kinda fundamental that you take the saddle.”

“You know I take the saddle.” I grip my hand around his jaw the way he always does mine and think about all the things he can do with his tongue.

“Well, today you're takin’ a different kinda one. I promise it’ll be just as thrillin’.” He drags me over to it and throws his leg over the seat, using those big strong arms of his to take the bars and hold it steady.

“I’m just–”

“You got nothin’ to be scared of with me, I’d never do anything to put you in any danger, that's why ya get one of these.” He lifts off the helmet that’s hanging off the bars of the bike beside his and places it on my head.

“None of the others wear them.” I try to recall ever seeing one of the members wear a helmet.

“What they do is up to them, but I kinda like you, so you're wearin’ the helmet. That's non-negotiable.”

“And you promise you’ll take it steady?” I make sure before I agree to this.

“You know I will.” Raze takes my hand and slowly guides me on behind him.

“Now, you hold me here.” He takes both my hands and slides them around the trunk of his body, making sure they grip at the lapels of his cut. “You hold tight. And scream if you wanna go faster.” He smiles cockily over his shoulder before kicking his engine to life and sending a vibration right through my core. I grip for dear life and feel my pulse kick up as Sonny runs out from the other side of the arch to open the gates for us, and Raze takes off.

I’ve never felt possessive over something the way I do her. Having her on my saddle, clinging to me tight as I ride through the streets my club is gonna own, makes coming back here worth it. I have a whole new sense of purpose now. I don’t wanna make this club a success just to right the wrongs of my past. I’m really starting to see a future, and Peyton is a huge part of it. All I have to do now is find the guy who hurt her and make him suffer.

She puts on a brave face and pretends everything's okay, but I hear her begging him to stop in her sleep. It breaks my heart and fills me with fury and there's no outlet for it because in those moments it’s my job to comfort her.

I don’t have a destination in mind, I just wanted to get us away from the club for a while. I pull up when I find a nice view of the ocean and love how excited she looks when she gets off the back.

“That was amazing. I thought I’d be scared but—” She interrupts herself to kiss me, and I can’t help wondering what a girl so full of life and enthusiasm, despite what she’s been through, would see in a guy like me. Now that I’ve given in and accepted that I want her, I have a whole new problem to face up to. I’m so scared of hurting her, I don’t wanna be the next trauma that she suffers. It’s one of the reasons I never let myself act on my feelings sooner and I can’t lose sight of that. I may not be an expert on the subject, but I do know that love comes with a price and I’m already wondering what hers will be.

Peyton seems happy with the simple things in life, she appreciates everything around her like she’s been locked up in a cage and newly released.

My cell rings and when I see Wrath’s number, despite not wanting to, I have to answer.

“Ya need to get back to the club, I found somethin’,” he tells me, not waiting to hear what I have to say before he hangs up. He sounded on edge and since he’s already a walking ball of frustration, I decide it’s time to head home.

“You ready to take a ride back?” I feel bad knowing that she doesn’t get away from the club often, but the urgency in Wrath’s voice has me concerned.

“Let’s do it.” She places the helmet back on her head and smiles

“It took her some time but she found it.” Wrath slaps a document on my desk and sits back smugly in his chair.

I lift up the copy of my sister's death certificate and study it hard.

“So, what are we supposed to do with this?” I ask, pissed off at the fact I came back from my ride for something that I already knew existed.

“I don’t know, but it’s a start.”

“Give up.” I toss it back at him and stand up.

“You know what, Raze, you're really startin’ to piss me off.” He proves he ain’t going nowhere.

“Watch ya tone, I’m still your president,” I warn him.

“You wanted me, you told Jimmer you would only do this with me at your side. You want me to suffer, don’t ya? You haven’t forgiven me, you never will. Don’t ya see that this is me tryin’ to fix what happened?”

“No, Wrath, this is you being selfish. She’s moved on, away from this club and away from us. She doesn’t need fixin’.”

“And how do you know that?” He frowns at me.

“Because I know Jimmer Carson, and he wouldn’t have kept the fact that she was alive from me if he didn’t have a good reason. Eden just wanted a fresh start.”

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