Page 33 of Raze

“Yeah, well it didn’t work out,” I admit, except for the presence of a few siblings and Peyton, last night was just another wild Soul party.

“That why you ended up sleepin’ in here?” he asks.

“I just needed some space, the beach hut can be a little claustrophobic,” I lie, still thinking about how I messed up last night. I lose control of all my senses when I’m around that damn girl. I forgot all the reasons why her staying here is a bad idea, and I gave in to my urges. But what made walking away from it even harder was how badly I could see she wanted it too.

Now I feel like I've led the girl on and that's not fair. Peyton is too young and too inexperienced to analyze what this really is. She’s scared and vulnerable right now, her big, bad wolf is out there in the wild and she sees me as her protector. Her feelings for me aren’t genuine, they're subconsciously fabricated to ensure her survival. But that doesn’t make it any easier to forget how pretty she looked when she came for me, or the sweet, little noises she made while my fingers stroked inside her.

“You know folk are talkin’, wonderin’ why you ain’t claimed her yet?” I spit my coffee back into the mug when I hear what Saint says.

“Claimed her?”

“Come on, she’s stayin’ at your place, you took Griller’s eye out because of what he said ‘bout her. And last night you got pretty mad at her for hangin’ out with Freddie Banbrooke's nephew.”

Of course, that little prick would be related to him. I should have figured.

“She’s just vulnerable. I’m looking out for her,” I tell him, trying to convince myself of the same damn thing while picturing that look she had on her face when my tongue was between her legs.

“Well, it looks like a lot more than that. Just sayin’.” Saint shrugs.

“I gotta take a shower.” I put down my mug and stand up, I don’t need to answer to Saint or anyone else. People around here can think what they want.

I head out the door and the morning sun hits far too bright as I step onto the balcony. There's empty cups and more than a few items of clothing spread all across the deck and when I look down at the beach it’s in just as bad a state. Sonny’s showing he’s keen, as he walks in with a litter picker and a trash bag making a start on the cleanup.

“Good job, kid.” I tip my chin at him as I move down the stairs and head to my hut to shower and face all the wrong I did last night.

Peyton is still asleep when I peek through the hut door, and I'm pissed as hell when I realize that she slept with it unlocked. You’d think someone who’d been through the hell she has would be wise to this kinda stuff and I swear being here makes her feel invincible.

I manage to grab a towel without waking her and head straight back out toward the shower. I keep the water cold as I lather up my skin remembering all the ways she touched me and how her nails felt digging into my flesh. I don’t know how I managed to stop myself from going all the way last night. It only proves that despite what I try to deny, I care about her. I know I’m bad for her, but the feelings I got are growing at a rate I can’t keep up with, it’s different to anything I’ve ever felt before, and right now it’s consuming me. I know that once I have her that way I’d never let her go and she’s got far too much to look forward to in her life than to tie herself to me.

I finish up in the shower and wrap the towel around my waist before I step inside, and when I see her, up, outta bed, and sitting at the table in the same shirt of mine that she had on last night, my cock instantly reacts.

“Mornin’.” I clear my throat as I step past her and pull my travel bag from under the bed.

I could make it to our Nevada charter in a day, but it ain’t just me going. I’m not a nomad anymore. I’m a leader and I have to take the other brothers who are coming on this run with me into consideration.

She purposely ignores me at first, keeping her head down and focused on the magazine she’s flicking through, but when she notices me packing up some clothes she suddenly loses her calm.

“Raze, what are you doing?” Her eyes look wild and scared as she abandons the magazine and stands up.

“I’m goin’ on a run,” I explain, checking I got a charger for my phone.

“No, you can’t leave here. We have to talk about what happened last night.” My cock pulses when I think about how close I came to knowing what it would be like to be inside her.

Why do I torture myself with those kinda thoughts? They’re the ones that get me into trouble.

“Ain’t nothin’ to talk about, I should never have let it get that far.”

I pull on some clean boxers and a pair of jeans under the towel I’m wearing before looping my belt and trying to find a shirt to wear.

“Don’t say that.” Her hand touches my shoulder and when I spin around and she’s right there in front of me, all those urges I got to make her mine slice through my chest and make me feel weak again.

I can’t give in to them.

I won’t.

“Last night, I was–”

“You were swept up in a moment. We both were, but that don’t make it right.” I pull on a black tee and go to move past her but she moves to block me.

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