Page 67 of Raze

“That girl of yours, she needs you to touch her when she wakes up from her night terrors,”

“How the fuc–”

“It’s a coping mechanism, having you touch her makes her forget about whoever he is and what he did to her.” I have no idea how the fuck he knows all this but it’s pissing me off as much as it’s freaking me out.

“You doubt that what she feels for you is real, every time you look at her.” He pulls down one of the slats on the blind so we can see through the glass window and into the barroom. Peyton still looks lost among the chaos, her arms are wrapped around her shoulders like she’s shielding herself from something. I hate to think that something could be me.

“Every time she asks you to take her bad memories away you wonder to yourself if that's all you're good for.”

“Now, you're just talkin’ shit.” I shake my head and refuse to let him get inside my head.

“Am I? You mean to tell me that you don’t doubt why she’s fallen for you. I see things Raze, I see things that no one else does and I see how much she scares you.” He releases the blind and steps closer. “She scares you because even if she’s using you, you’d let her. You’d do anything to keep her.”

“Sinner, I suggest for your sake and everyone else’s you stay away from her, and from me.” I make my way to the door, holding it open for him.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to have a little fun before I leave, playing Whack-a-Reaper is real thirsty work.” Knocking back the bottle he’s still holding, he passes me and heads toward the bar. He slams his palm right into Cara’s ass cheek as he approaches her. It makes her squeal and when she spins around she has an excited smile on her face.

I leave him to it, heading over to the table where Polly has a long set of tweezers and is digging around in Vike’s shoulder. The hard-assed fucker sits there showing no expression while Saul’s sister shows her concern.

Peyton still looks pale, she’s chewing on her thumb the way she always does when she’s nervous and I don’t like that she’s unnerved. Yeah, today’s been a bad day, but there will be much worse. She needs to be able to handle it.

“You good?” I frown when I notice that her hands are shaking.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just worried about what happened today, you were lucky that's just a graze.” She looks down at my shirt again

“Got it.” Polly sounds victorious as she drops the bullet into a bowl on the table.

“Now let’s get this hole stitched up.” Alicia stands by her side, handing her the gauze and alcohol, and I note the way Griller narrows his eye at her as he watches her being so tentative to Vike. Saul is far too busy enjoying the entertainment Sinner and Cara are providing to notice that there's definitely something going on with Griller and his sister, though from the way she’s stroking her hand over Vike’s arm, I’d guess that it ain’t reciprocated.

“Raze, the men you killed, how old were they?” Peyton asks me, proving that all this shit is really getting to her, and with the words that Sinner said in my office still spinning round my head, I feel everything I’ve been convincing myself of start to crumble.

“Does it fuckin’ matter, they’re dead.” I snap at her, getting the attention of the whole club and making her pale skin turn red with embarrassment.

It turns out Sinner had everything fuckin’ dead-on accurate when he called me out a few minutes ago. And I don’t know at what point I stopped listening to my instincts and let this fantasy of her and me become a thing.

Peyton came here to seek solace and protection. She doesn’t love me, how can she? She doesn’t know anything about me. And now that she’s starting to learn, she’s already not liking it. I may just be a protector to her, but she’s becoming the start and end of my fuckin’ world. I’ve let myself get tangled up with feelin’s before. I know they only lead to disappointment and heartbreak, and yet the thought of pushing her away and letting her go feels like too much of a consolation.

“I’m sorry.” She looks hurt as she turns her back on me, leaving me to sit in misery corner with Sonny.

Both me and James sit in silence as we watch the club get busier and louder. Today’s violence seems to have given everyone a buzz, all the members are drinking and chatting with each other. They seem much more celebratory than they were a few weeks ago at Raze’s party.

I try to put on a brave face, but all I can think about is Kane and wonder if he was one of the six men who died today. I could ask James, he was there, but he’s so quiet and distant, I can tell whatever he saw has deeply disturbed him.

I close my eyes and pray for Kane, having no idea how I’m going to find out if he’s okay. I want to run to the hut and take my phone from behind the nightstand where I’ve hidden it so I can call him. But I can’t risk Raze following me and finding out who I really am.

Raze has a serious look on his face as he sits with his strong arm raised up over his head and allows Polly to stitch up his side. He doesn’t flinch and he hasn’t moved his eyes from mine since he sat down. I can see he’s deep in thought, I just wish I knew what about.

Maybe I’m making him suspicious by showing too much concern, but how else am I supposed to act? For all I know my boyfriend could have killed my brother today.

“Come, we’re goin’ home.” Raze makes his way over to me when Polly’s done and when I slowly look up at him I make it obvious that I’m not happy by the cold look I give him.

“I won’t ask ya again,” he warns, and when I stand up, I make sure my shoulder hits his arm as I strut out the side door and onto the balcony. I see that Sinner has Trinity leaned back over the railings when I get outside, his outstretched arm gripping her throat as he holds the top half of her body over the edge and thrusts into the bottom half. The dirty smile he flashes me as I pass them makes me shudder, and I pick up my pace and quickly stomp back to the hut.

Reggie is in his carrier when I get in, and I slam the door before Raze steps through it a few seconds later.

“What’s the fuckin’ problem, Peyton?” He looks furious as he makes his way toward me, the anger in his eyes beaming through me like a laser.

“Do you mean besides the fact you just spoke to me like a piece of shit in front of all your members, again?”

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