Page 87 of Condemned Soul

I watch Jessie walk away from me, bursting with pride and knowing that the club is in safe hands, and when the guard leads me to the interview room where they want me to sign my statement I’m surprised when I see Consuela pacing the floor, and looking real on edge.

“I thought this was gonna be a date with Longford.” I smile sarcastically as I take a chair.

“It is,” she confirms, biting her thumbnail like she’s nervous.

“What’s wrong with ya? You're about to get one helluva promotion.” I try to keep things light-hearted. What I’ve been through today is heavy enough, this right here is supposed to be the easy part.

“They have a transport van here, ready to take you as soon as you sign that,” she tells me, taking the seat opposite me and dropping her head into her hands like she suddenly thinks this is a bad idea.

“We knew that would happen.” I shrug and when I go to lift up the pen she quickly slams her hand over mine.

“Don’t sign it,” she tells me without looking up. I can feel all the tension from her body in her fingertips and when she sighs and eventually looks up at me she looks nervous as hell.

“If you sign that you're a dead man, and I can’t have that on my conscience,” she confesses

“My death ain’t on your conscience, darlin’, I can tell ya that for sure. This, what you're offerin’, is everythin’ I want,” I assure her, sliding the hand that's holding the pen out from under hers.

“No.” She grabs my wrist firmly. And I can see how she’s battling with herself in her head

“Come on, be smart. This ain’t just about me, this is your career,” I remind her to stay focused. What’s happened between us, can’t get in the way of getting us both what we need.

“Screw my career, you don’t deserve this, Jimmer. My career doesn’t matter, your family needs you… I need you.” She adds that last part so weakly it shocks the hell outta me.

“Woman, I’ve seen the way you operate, and you don’t need a damn soul.” I laugh at her and when that serious look remains on her face, my smile fades.

“I feel something for you, something that outweighs a fucking job, Jimmer. If you sign that, I will lose you.” I can see the desperation in her eyes and I feel it in the way she grips me, and suddenly it dawns on me that this, right in front of me, is the kinda love that all my brothers have found. It’s something I’ve never had before and it’s bittersweet that I’m being gifted with it now.

“Thank you.” I stare across the table at the woman who’s just proven to me that it don’t always have to hurt when you give away your heart, and I let myself wonder, for just a second more, how it might be if things were different. The room suddenly feels so small and the silence is loud. Kathrine stares back at me like I’ve confused her.

“I’ve had brothers who have been prepared to die for me, they’ve taken bullets and blades while fightin’ for my cause, and one by one I’ve watched them find a woman who loved them for who they were and wanted nothin’ in return. I never realized how much I wanted that too until you just gave it to me.” I let her in on the thoughts that are inside my head.

“Well, you have it now, so rip up that paper and I’ll find another way to save your club,” she tells me with a sparkle in her eye that I don’t recall ever seeing there before.

“I wish I could, but this is how it has to be. We wouldn’t have had a future beyond here, and that's not because I wouldn’t have wanted it. My life has come to its end, and it’s real fuckin’ cruel that it threw you in as a curve ball for the finish.”

“Jimmer, you’re not making sense. It doesn’t have to be this way,” she tells me again, standing up and leaning over the table, and I grab her face and kiss her before she can argue. I kiss her like I’m giving her the last shred of my heart, then I pull away and face up to the disappointment I’m causing her when I pick up the pen and sign my name at the end of my confession.

“Jimmer.” She starts to cry, and I wrap her up in my arms and hold her.

“You just gave me what no other woman ever has. I’ll always be grateful for that,” I assure her. When I hear footsteps coming down the hall I smile at her as she steps back and puts some space between us.

“Jimmer Carson.” Longford surprises me when he holds out his hand for me to shake, then when he sees I’ve signed my name, he nods his head respectfully and gestures for one of the guards to cuff me.

I stare at Kathrine as I hold out my hands and feel the metal clasp around my wrists. The tears that well in her eyes and the sacrifice she was prepared to make for me tells me that what we had in just a few short weeks was real.

“Wait!” she calls out desperately as they’re about to lead me out the room. “I just need a few moments with Mr. Carson, alone.” She clears her throat when her boss looks at her suspiciously, and I’m surprised when he shrugs and steps out into the hall, closing the door behind him, and the guard that leaves with him.

“Kathr—” She launches herself at me and kisses me again. And knowing it’s the last one I’m ever gonna get, I take everything out of it. She’s breathless when she pulls away but she focuses on me like she has something to tell me.

“Longford has a lead on Cliff Adams, it’s nothing concrete yet, but I’m doing all I can to convince him to let me take the case. But if they catch him first, and he rats on the club, I don’t know how long I can keep it protected.” She looks so fearful and I stroke my cuffed hand through her hair to let her know it’s okay.

“Do you have that lead?” I ask her calmly.

“Not right now, but I’ll get it,” she assures me.

“You speak to Maddy, she can help ya,” I instruct her.

“And then we let Jessie deal with it?” she checks, proving again how she’s prepared to go against her morals for me.

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