Page 62 of Condemned Soul

“I told Nyx on the phone, yesterday, that I ain’t ready.” he drops his eyes away from mine.

“Because you know she could change your mind. Which suggests to me that you ain’t one hundred percent fixed on this plan.”

“I don’t like the plan, but I’m fixed on it.” He regains himself, and his glare, when he looks back at me.

“There has to be another way. Prez, we know shit. We know people that deserve to be in here way more than you do,” I point out, understanding why Jessie is a walking ball of fuckin’ fired-up frustration, right now. There ain’t no getting through to this man.

“They want the club, Troj.”

“I know but?—”

“There ain’t no buts about it. I ain’t gonna have everythin’ I worked for, everything we’ve worked for, destroyed.”

“Jimmer, there ain’t a fuckin’ club without you.”

“Bullshit.” He laughs. “I’ve been a leader, but none of you brothers have ever been followers. The Souls are somethin’ real special, somethin’ I’m real proud of and this day was always gonna come. I created it, now it’s my job to protect it.”

I know there ain’t no point in disagreeing with him. I can see that his mind is made up. It don’t make it any easier to accept though.

“When you get into county you're gonna need some kinda protection, it should be me,” I drop my head feeling ashamed of myself. For years I’ve been proud of the role Prez gave me, and now when he needs me most I’m gonna let him down.

“Your job is to protect Jessie, now.”

“He’s strugglin’, Prez. He’s not prepared to even think about the fact you might not get outta here.”

“He will. It’s just gonna take a little time.” Prez nods calmly. “I just need you to be there for him, if I know that, I got no fuckin’ worries.”

“You say that but?—”

“But what?” he interrupts me, frowning.

“Prez, you and I both know that my track record when it comes to protectin’ people is pretty fuckin’ lame. I should be at your side and I came here to tell you that I can’t be.” I never meant for this visit to turn emotional, but something about Prez always seems to draw the honesty out in me.

“Troj, I’m here because I trusted someone I shouldn’t, that was my mistake and I’m fixing it. And if you're talkin’ about what happened to Shaniya, then you're wrong again.”

I feel the cramp of fuckin’ rage when he says what I’m thinking out loud.

“You got yourself a strong woman who loves ya, and now you got a kid who I’m pretty sure is gonna love ya even more. What happened in the past ain’t just over, it’s fuckin’ dead. She’s movin’ on with her life, Troj, she’s allowin’ herself to be happy. You need to do that too.”

I nod my head as I take in his words, of course, he’s right, he always fuckin’ is. But I’d be lying if I told myself that my anger for what she endured will ever go away.

“Bad shit happens to good people. Ain’t shit you can do about that. But never doubt your ability to protect, Troj, you’re the best damn fighter I ever fuckin’ saw. You're never gonna let down the people you care about.”

“And once you're outta here and in there… what’s your plan?” I’m curious to find out where his head’s at.

“Don’t you worry ‘bout me. I won’t be goin’ down without a fight.” He winks.

“I don’t like to be tested, Jimmer.” Agent Consuela has a clever smirk on her face when she opens the door of the visitor’s room and reveals that my request has been granted.

“I’m impressed,” I tell her under my breath as I step past her. Joanne is sitting at the table waiting for me, her back is straight and her eyes remain focused on the wall in front of her. The door creaks shut and when I hear the lock buzz I take immense pleasure in how outta place she looks.

“Orange really is your color.” I tilt my head sideways and admire the jumpsuit she’s wearing, and I laugh at the fact that she’s cuffed to the floor and I ain’t. When I take my seat opposite her she stretches her neck and averts her eyes to a different wall so she can avoid making any contact with mine.

“So, how are things holdin’ up for ya? Ya got a trial date yet?” I ask, knowing that there ain’t anyone out there who would have posted bail for her.

“I don’t appreciate being mocked.” She spits out her words as I slouch back in my chair, sliding my hand over my mouth and studying the real Joanne Walker. Her hair is wiry and sticking up outta place, and there's a black line where her roots are starting to come through. Her skin looks different without makeup on it, and she sure looks as if she hasn’t slept in a while.

“Listen, Jimmer, I don’t know why you asked to see me, or what this place is but…?”

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