Page 58 of Condemned Soul

“Don’t, Nyx. Don’t ask me what the fuckin’ plan is, because right now I ain’t fuckin’ got one.” It ain’t what I want to hear, but at least it’s honest.

“Mads has been up all night pullin’ together evidence on fuckin’ pedophiles and that organization Felix was workin’ for. She’s hopin’ that we can exchange it, but I don’t think it’s gonna work. You should have seen him, Nyx. He’s lost it, he’s just acceptin’ this. Like he wants it to fuckin’ happen. Right now, they’re treatin’ him good, he’s got privileges, visits whenever he wants ‘em, but soon as they get what they want out of him they’re sendin’ him to the fuckin’ wolves.”

“Which is why I’m here,” I tell him, noting how he stops hitting the bag and focuses on me.

“Ella’s worried about her old man, and what’s gonna happen to him if he goes away, which is why I’m gonna have to find a way to put myself in there with him. I know we got people on the inside, Jess, but they’re people I’ve never met. I don’t know what lengths they’ll go to protect him, but I know the ones I would.”

“Nyx, you're talkin’ stupid. You got a wife and two kids that need you out here. If the worst comes to it, I’ll be the one that follows him in there. I spoke to Monica last night, she’s confident she could get us into the same prison.”

“Now you're the one talkin’ stupid, VP. Who's gonna run this club if you're inside? We need ya.”

“And Ella and the kids need you, so your little plan is off the fuckin’ table,” Jess tells me firmly. “Besides, this is exactly why he’s doin’ this, he wants to spare us from doin’ time because he knows, once we’re inside, they can pull a big enough investigation to keep us all there. He should’ve come to me before, we could’ve figured this out together.” I can see how hurt Jessie is. All that anger he’s been carrying has molded itself into something that looks real sad.

“I’m not gonna let him die in prison, Nyx. He found me in a motel room the day after Chop killed my dad, he offered to take me back to Utah or bring me home and, on that day, I decided I was gonna follow that man wherever he went. Go find your wife, Nyx. Be there for her, and for God’s sake, don’t let me hear ya talkin’ that shit again.” He reaches toward the fighting ring and picks his cut up from the ropes before he leaves me to it.

I don’t go looking for Ella like he suggested, I wouldn’t know what to say to her if I found her. There’s nothing I can do to make her feel better after all she’s been through this past week. As long as she’s at Jessie’s place, I know she’ll be feeling like she’s doing something useful and that’s what she needs right now. I head back up to our lodge and when I find it empty, I sit on the couch and look at the photo Ella has framed on the bookshelf. It’s the one she took of Prez holding each one of the kids on his shoulders, last summer. He’s got a wide grin on his face and eyes that are bursting with pride. Prez is always talking about how much I’ve changed since Ella came into our lives, yet he’s the one who’s changed the most. People outside the perimeter of this club may still fear him, but these days he allows the people close to him to see the man he really is and he sure as hell don’t belong behind bars.

My peace is disturbed when the door crashes open and Ella bolts inside, taking me completely off guard when she slaps me hard across the face and then launches a full-on attack on me.

“Ella, what the fuc—” I try to hold her off but she seems to have the fight of a pitbull behind her.

“I can’t believe you1 How could you…” The blows keep on coming as she thumps my chest with her fists and I have to take both her wrists in my hand and hold her firm to stop her. Her face is red with anger, her eyes are streaming with tears and she’s looking at me with pure rage.

“What’s the matter?”

“I was in the bathroom when Jessie got back, I heard him tell Maddy what you wanted to do. You were gonna leave me too.” She finds a little more strength and tries to wriggle herself free from my grip but I hold her steady.

“I heard what you said this mornin’ about him dyin’ in jail and I just?—”

“No, how is that gonna make any of this better? I’ve already lost too many people I care about. Losing you… I wouldn't survive that, Nyx.” She shakes her head at me fiercely. “I love you, I need you, our children need you. You can’t leave us,” she whispers so weakly that I wanna scoop her up and make sure nothing from the outside world can touch her.

“Ell, listen to me.” I release her hands and snatch her jaw with my fingers. “I ain’t ever gonna leave ya, not ever. It was a stupid idea and I was just tryin’ to stop ya from hurtin’.”

“How could losing you make any of this better, Nyx?” she asks me, and I quickly lift her off her feet and carry her over to the table.

“You’re never gonna lose me,” I promise, kissing her lips and neck and slowly starting to feel her body relax.

“Nyx, we shouldn’t.” Her voice says one thing but her body says another when I work my way down it and pull her top over her tits to expose one of her nipples. She raises her body higher so it meets with my mouth and I suck her between my teeth and listen to her moan.

I don’t care if the club, or the world, is falling apart around us. My girl needs this and if I can give her a few moments outta her head, that's exactly what I’ll do.

“Jessie’s called four times, your daughter wants to see you.” Kathrine stares across the table at me. Today we’re in a different kind of room, everything seems a little more formal, and I guess this is where the fall of Jimmer Carson starts.

“I ain’t ready to see her yet. She’ll be mad at me, she’ll be hurtin’ and I’m not ready to face that.” I make that point very clear.

“You know she’s still gonna be mad, and hurting, whenever you let her in.” Consuela may make a good point, but I give her no response.

“So, how does this work?” I move on to the reason I’m here. Up till now, things haven’t been so bad, I got a spacious room, a comfortable bed and they’ve kept me fed on takeout. These people must really fuckin’ want me to give ‘em some dirt.

“We talk about your involvement in drug and gun running. We put together a statement, and…”

“You put me away for life.” I smile back at her sarcastically, and I can tell from the way she looks at me that she feels bad about it.

“I have a few questions of my own before I start givin’ up all my trade secrets,” I inform her.

“Shoot.” She sits back in her chair and waits confidently.

“You say these rooms aren’t bugged, why?” Surely the best way to catch a criminal is to monitor their visitors, and knowing I’ll be having a few over the next few weeks I need to know that what I discuss remains private.

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