Page 47 of Condemned Soul

“Now, let’s put this place back together again.” He chuckles as he looks around the mess I’ve made of my kitchen.

* * *

It’s a few hours later when I’m sitting on the hard plastic chair in the visitors’ room. The door slides open and the inmates start to filter through. My mom actually smiles when she sees me like she’s just stepped into a coffee shop.

I meant what I said to Dad about moving on, but I also know that I couldn’t do that without giving this woman my thoughts.

“Ella, I’m so glad you came.” She reaches out to hug me and when the guard shakes his head she offers him a stiff smile and sits herself down on the chair opposite me.

“Why did you go to Cliff?” I ask, staring into the eyes of the woman who gave birth to me and feeling nothing but hate.

“Darling, I get that it’s all very hard for you to understand.”

“Then make me understand. Mom, you came to the club because loan sharks were after you, Dad helped you and you betrayed him. You must have known how that was gonna work out.” I watch the way she twists her fingers and tries to think of what lie to tell me next.

“Your father has taken everything away from me, Ella. My husband, my reputation. You.” She starts to sob and yet I see no sign of tears.

“You mean your husband, the pedophile? The husband who put his fingers inside me to check I was a virgin at a time when I thought he was my real father?” I try to hold it together because I really don’t want her to see me cry.

“I didn’t know about that,” she whispers as if she still has a reputation to uphold, even here.

“But you knew he beat me. You saw him do it, and you knew how it felt because you took knock after knock from him, yourself. You knew and you still kept me there.”

“Vincent wasn’t the man I thought I married, but I’d made a commitment. Ella, look at all we had.” She tries to make the fact we had a nice house and money a valid reason for staying with him, and I can barely believe what I’m hearing.

“I had nothing, the most affection I ever got was from our housekeeper.”

“Well, we're not all natural mothers, Ella. Just because you have chosen to become a baby machine for that waster of a biker doesn’t mean you get to judge me.” Her words spit out like venom, but they don’t hurt me. Nothing this woman says can hurt me anymore.

“Judge you, judge you…?” I stand up and when the guard clears his throat and reminds me to sit back down, I smile apologetically and gather my composure.

“You could have come to Dad or Nyx with the names of those men, you could have gone to the police. You are a despicable person, and I never want my children to see you again. I hate you.” I look her deep in her eyes when I tell her that, and wonder if she even cares.

“Ella, don’t say that. I saw Cliff’s name on the list and it felt like fate. I saw it as my chance to save you. Your dad and Nyx are two of the same, you won’t ever be happy in that marriage.”

“And what do you know about my happiness or marriage? I don’t need saving from my loving husband, and the two beautiful children who he would die to protect. I don’t need to be rescued from a father who loves me, and them, with every bit of his heart. Don’t you worry about me and my happiness. In fact, don’t think about me at all. I hope when they put you on trial you get time, but whether you do or not, stay away from me and my family.” I get up and nod to the guard to let me out as I walk away from her.

I have a family BBQ to organize.

Three Days Later

“I’m impressed, Kathrine.” My boss nods at the files he’s been reading through.

“Thank you, sir,” I try my best to sound enthusiastic despite the fact I hate what I’m doing. The more I’ve learned about Jimmer the more I realize how needed he is in the cruel, fucked-up world we live in.

“We’re getting closer. Sending you to L.A. was worth the shit I got from the director.” He laughs to himself and I can understand why he’s amused. Holden and Fentor have been investigating the Lambroni brothers for nearly three years. They were not happy about having two of their most wanted handed in by a female agent from out of state.

“Right place at the right time. I got a tip on Adams from watching the Souls and had to see it through.”

“And where is Adams now? He’s the weak link, he was supposed to be your focus,” he reminds me.

“What if we aim a little higher?” I suggest, knowing that it will pique his interest. Adrian Longford is an ambitious man and although he’s an asshole, he’s one I’ve ruled out from being connected to the organization. “Colorado is the Dirty Souls’ founding charter; it's always been our primary target,” I remind him. “What could we offer Jimmer Carson if he turned himself in?” I ask, keeping my head held high when he spits his coffee back into his mug and laughs at me.

“Leaders of organizations like the Souls never turn themselves in. They don’t do time, not when they have men prepared to do it for them.”

“But, what if he was different? I think I could get a lot out of him, but he cares about his family. If we could offer him some kind of transition and some assurances?—”

“We don’t negotiate with criminals, Katherine.” He looks at me over the top of his glasses.

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