Page 42 of Condemned Soul

“I’m worried about Dad, haven’t you noticed that he isn’t himself lately?” I question. It can’t just be me that's noticed how he’s closed himself off.

“He’s never himself when your mom’s around, they have unfinished business, which is exactly why you need to get outta here. You don’t need to be dragged into all that shit,”

“It’s not just Mom, he’s been acting strange before she got here. He’s looking tired. There's something distracting him.”

“Ella, there’s always somethin’ going on around here and he’s our leader. Takin’ down Cliff has really shaken shit up and he’s tryin’ to figure the best way to handle it. The last thing he’d want is you worryin’ about him. Now, you gonna pack a bag and let me getcha outta here?” Nyx slides his hand up to my cheek and strokes it tenderly with his thumb.

“Not before I take you into that bedroom and jump your bones.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.

“Baby number three incomin’” He crouches so he can throw me over his shoulder and rush me to the bedroom, creeping carefully past Sophia so we don’t disturb her.

* * *

“You know I do want more kids, right?” I assure him while he throws his shirt back over his head. I know Nyx wants a whole house full of them, he got real excited just before I started college again when he thought I might be pregnant.

“Darlin’, I couldn’t ask ya for any more than what you’ve already given me.” He climbs across the bed and places a kiss on my forehead.

“I get that, but I just wanted to remind you that we want the same things. I wanna graduate college and make a career for myself before we have anymore. I already feel like we ask a lot of people when it comes to helping with childcare.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, everyone loves the kids. They like helpin’ out. It’s exactly what your dad wanted when he started this place,” he assures me.

“You and him have gotten close over the years.” I smile to myself when I look back to the time I thought my dad was gonna kill him. All that seems like so long ago. There's a bond between my dad and Nyx now, one that's become really special.

“He sees me differently since I fell for you, and I sure as hell understand him better. He just wants what every parent wants for their kids.”

“I want him to be happy too.” I smile sadly.

“Ella, he is happy. Don’t ya see the way his face lights up when you and the kids walk into the room? He’s so fuckin’ proud of you and he adores ‘em.” He slides some of the hair that’s fallen over my eyes back over my head and smiles at me.

“I kinda hate her for what she did.” The words tumble from my mouth unexpectedly. I know the way Nyx feels about my mother and I don’t like to fuel his fire but he’s my person and I won’t hide from him how I feel. “It was selfish of her and cruel. She knew how much Walker hated me. She denied me a childhood with a man who would have loved me unconditionally. And it wasn’t just him she took from me. She denied me any chance I ever had to know Hayley.” Tears well in my eyes when I think about the sister I never got to meet. “It’s hard to be forgiving of that.” I wipe my cheeks.

“And yet you prove you're a much better person than her by denyin’ her nothin’.” Nyx takes my hand in his and squeezes it tight. “You allow her to have a relationship with the kids. You let her into your life and show her kindness because you're a good person. You don’t have to like someone to love ‘em,” he reminds me.

“My dad still loves her, doesn't he?” I feel sad for him because I don’t think he ever moved on from her.

“Yeah, he loves her. I don’t think he ever stopped lovin’ her,” Nyx points out.

“You're right, we need this vacation.” I kiss my husband before climbing out of bed and starting to pack.

“That was a nice idea sending them on a vacation.” Joanne joins me in the members-only bar, where I’ve come to be alone. She’s dressed for attention tonight in a short skirt and a blouse that’s buttoned down low. Low enough to show that she still has a figure to fuckin’ die for. “You look like you need one yourself, you look stressed.”

“I am stressed,” I admit, thinkin’ about all the shit Maddy found in Cliff’s emails. I didn’t wanna believe what Tawk had told Jessie a few days ago, but now I have evidence I have no choice but to take action.

“You’ve had a long journey, you must be tired.” I can’t tell if Joanne is giving me the come-on or if she’s playing with my emotions when she strokes my arm. I just know that tonight, I ain’t in the mood for games.

“Come.” I stand up and offer her my hand. She looks a little shocked as she stares at it.

“You just gonna stare at it or ya gonna do what you really came in here for?’ I dare her, and when she takes it and stands on her feet she blows out a brave breath.

The club is busy tonight, the music is thumping through the walls as I lead her through the foyer, toward the stairs that lead up to the rutting rooms. Hayden passes through and sees us together, and I tip my chin when he gives me a wicked grin. I guess, for everyone around here, this has been a long time coming.

“Jimmer, don’t you want to go back to your place, or my cabin?” Joanne looks up the staircase, hesitantly.

“And risk us changin’ our minds?” I question, and the timid smile she gives me reminds me of the girl I knew all those years ago. I continue to lead her up the stairs, heading down the corridor and into one of the rooms. There's rarely any action up here, anymore. Members from the other charters use ‘em when they visit, and Marilyn always does a good job of keeping ‘em clean. Joanne almost looks impressed by what she sees when I open the door and gesture for her to step inside.

“I promised myself this would never happen again,” Joanne admits as she sits on the edge of the mattress, and I put some distance between us and take the seat in the corner of the room.

“Take off your blouse,” I order, tilting my head so I can admire her body. I remember how much she used to like being commanded and I wonder if she ever got me outta her head when she was with Vincent and those other men.

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