Page 29 of Condemned Soul

“It’s my baby, Joanne,” he whispers weakly, looking at me helplessly like he can’t believe what I’m saying.

“Not anymore, I’m freeing you of the responsibility. I’m marrying a man who can provide for us. Vincent is clean living, he has a good job and money.”

“So this is about money?” He scoffs a laugh, and I hate the way his head shakes in disappointment.

“It's about security. I don’t want to be sitting at home waiting for my child’s father to be killed or dragged to jail. I don’t want to feed and clothe my baby with dirty money. I want to be someone's wife and not someone's old lady. You can’t offer me that. You can’t offer me anything. The best thing you can do is go back to your club and forget about me.” I go to close the door but Jimmer uses his boot as a wedge.

“I’m not gonna forget about you. I fuckin’ love you, Joanne, and that’s my kid you’re carryin’. I’m not havin’ some other man take care of either of ya. You’re mine.” All his frustration seems to have welded into desperation.

“No.” I have to remind myself to stay strong. The arrangement I have with Vincent is best for everyone, especially my baby. I never expected Jimmer to make it easy but I do have to stick by my decision. “I don’t want what you're offering me. It’s not enough.” I watch my words crush him and hate myself for being so cruel, but it’s the only way. “And if you mean what you say and you really do love me, you will leave us alone. I don’t want to see you again Jimmer.” I feel the weight of my tears get heavier and harder to hold.

“No.” Jimmer looks so broken and the temptation to throw my arms around him and comfort him is almost as hard to hold off as my tears.

“Do your kid a favor, Jimmer. You're not what we need.” I watch all the fight drain out of him as he backs away from the door, staring at me as if I’m a stranger.

“You're gonna regret this.” He barely has the strength to lift up the finger he points at me before he gets on his bike, revs the engine, and skids up the gravel.

“Can I get a word?” Jessie looks cagey when he interrupts us and Jimmer leaves me in charge of Sophia as he heads over to the other side of the barroom with his VP. I can only assume from his body language that what he’s about to share is bad news, and it has me immediately on edge.

“I’m so grateful for you helping Shaniya at the center.” Grace distracts me from trying to lip-read the men’s conversation when she pops up out of nowhere. “I’m just not ready to leave her with anyone yet and having a new baby at the center would be a nightmare.” My daughter’s friend looks down fondly at the little girl she has snuggled up tight in the car seat that’s now resting on the table in front of me.

“It’s not a problem, this is a special time for you, you should be making the most out of every second.” I smile as I admire the baby myself. You can see she’s a relation of Dylan and Sophia’s, she has the same chin.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” Grace strokes her hand over her daughter’s blanket.

“You sure she’s warm enough in there?” Nyx’s brother Brax takes the seat opposite me, spinning his daughter's carry seat around so it’s facing him.

“Brax, she’s fine,” Grace assures him

“She don’t look comfortable all squished up like that, I should probably get her out and hold her.” He goes to unbuckle her but Grace stops him.

“Babe, eat your breakfast. If she wasn’t comfortable she wouldn’t be sleeping.” Her eyes roll at me while she tries to convince him.

“I see where Nyx gets his overbearingness from.” I look across the table at his brother who’s still fussing over his little girl.

“Nothin’ wrong with a father lookin’ out for his little girl.” I can tell from his straight lips and blank expression that Brax’s words are a direct dig at me. I appreciate why some people here dislike me, and I know from the few times I’ve met Brax before that he pulls no punches. Yet, I refuse to be judged by a man who’s made a living out of taking lives and torturing people.

“They sure make good daddies.” Grace attempts to soften the sudden atmosphere he’s created and I notice the slight nod Brax gives to Jessie and Prez before he gets up.

“Where you going? You haven’t eaten yet?” Grace asks him, looking disappointed.

“Duty calls, Prez wants a meetin’.” He kisses Grace on top of her head before he places the car seat back in front of her, and kissing two of his fingers he presses them against his daughter’s mouth.

“Daddy’s gotta go to work, princess.” He looks up from her toward Grace. “I got my cell if you need me.” He kisses his old lady one last time before following the other men who have all abandoned what they're doing, to walk out the door. I get the impression something serious is about to go down.

I sit and stare at the table for a long time after the meeting’s over and everyone has left. What Jessie just told me needs deeper investigation, and if it’s true it’ll fuckin’ crush me, but before any action needs to be taken, we need to be sure. For now, everything has to carry on as normal so we don’t raise his suspicions. I still haven’t told my club brothers about Agent Consuela. I can’t, not while I’m trying so hard to keep everything together, and now I gotta deal with the new spanner that’s been thrown into the works.

Instead, I kept us focused on the decision we had to make, and I’m glad everyone agrees with me that when it comes to Burlusconi, honesty is gonna be our best policy. It’s a risk, but one I know will pay off because, like me, Raoul is a man who values trust. Although I just felt like a fraud talking about honesty among men I’m keeping something so important from.

I like the peacefulness of our chapel, a place that was, years ago, used for vacationers who wanted to worship on a Sunday. This place reminds me how time can change things. And yet, unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to have been the case with Joanne. Time hasn’t changed the way I feel about her, and that’s not a good thing. It’s very fuckin’ dangerous and I need to remind myself of the cruelty she’s capable of.

“This needs to stop.” I’m shocked as hell when I see Joanne waddle herself into my barroom and interrupt the meeting I’m having with Sheriff Roswell.

“We’ll pick this up later,” I dismiss him, and as he leaves I take a little time to admire her. She’s looking as beautiful as ever, with the huge, round belly that's carrying my child and a look on her face that’s deadly.

“Calm yourself down, darlin’. Gettin’ all agitated ain’t good for the baby,” I warn, pulling out a seat and feeling grateful that no one else is here. Brian and Vex are the only brothers who I’ve confided in about this situation and I want it to stay that way.

“If you did as I asked, I wouldn’t have to get agitated,” Joanne points out, proving that she’s still just as stubborn as she was five months ago when she refuses the chair I offer. “You need to stop having those men follow me.” She takes a deep breath and places her hands on her hips, trying so hard to sound assertive. It’s cute.

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