Page 28 of Condemned Soul

“Joanne, I don’t know who got you into trouble, but I can promise you that he would never be able to take care of you both the way I can.” His eyes hold mine with such sincerity I’m almost tempted.

“It’s kind of you but?—”

“Do you have a better offer?” he asks. “Is the guy who knocked you up offering to make you his wife and give you a life without any worries?” he questions, and my mind instantly drifts to Mary-Ann.

“Just think about it, Joanne. This must be a very scary time for you. It really doesn’t have to be.”

I shake the memory from my mind as I watch the way Jimmer interacts with Sophia over the breakfast table at the clubhouse. I can’t help feeling like I’ve stolen moments like these with Ella away from him, and the guilt of that makes the coffee I’m drinking taste bitter.

“Are you doing much today?” I attempt to make polite conversation with him as Marilyn places a plate of pancakes in front of him. I can tell the woman hates me, she has a constant scowl on her face whenever I’m around.

“Just the usual.” He gives nothing away as he picks up his knife and fork and gets stuck in.

“Protecting the town from all evil, no doubt.” I smile playfully as I attempt another sip of my coffee.

“Mock me all you want. I think you’re startin’ to like it here,” he points out, sounding a little smug.

“I’m enjoying spending time with my family.” I refuse to give him any form of gratitude as I stroke my hand through our grandson’s hair, who is, of course, obsessed with Marilyn, and naturally, I feel a pang of jealousy for that.

“So, it ain’t true that you’re headin’ to the library today to help Shaniya at the drop-in center?” Jimmer raises his eyebrows as he pops another forkful into his mouth.

“Well, yes, but only because Shaniya needs to have another person there with her. Lydia is on her counseling course and Grace is still getting to grips with the little one…”

“Careful, Jo, you’re at real risk of gettin’ swept up in all the team spirit around here.” He laughs at me and when Dylan spots Riley and the army of kids she’s brought with her, he breaks the silence when he asks Jimmer if he can leave the table.

“I think it’s a little late in life for me to be changing my ways,” I admit once Jimmer’s given him the nod to go join them.

“It’s never too late, Jo.” His smile makes me regret my decisions even more than I do already, and it also gives me a dangerous glimmer of hope.

“Joanne, please talk to me.” Jimmer’s heavy fist slams against the front door, and all I can do is pray he’ll go away before my parents get home.

“I know you're in there. Don’t make me kick this door through,” he threatens, and knowing that Jimmer Carson doesn’t make empty threats, I take a deep breath and unhook the chain so I can open it.

“You need to leave,” I tell him as calmly as I can manage. Not that it will make any difference, I can see how agitated he is from the wildness in his eyes.

“Leave? I ain’t fuckin’ leavin’. We need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” I hate that he looks so distraught. The bags under his eyes suggest he hasn’t been sleeping and I know I will have been the cause of it.

“Joanne, I’m gonna fix this.”

“How can you fix knocking me up?” I shake my head and laugh coldly.

“By taking care of you. Both of you. Pack your bags and come back to the club with me. I’ll put Mary-Ann in her place. I’ll make you my old lady and we’ll do this like we’re supposed to…” He pauses when his eyes catch a glimpse of the ring I’m wearing on my finger.

“What the fuck is that, Joanne?” He stares at it with a whole lot of emotions battling in his eyes.

“This is my way out of all this.” I swallow my nerves and attack head-on what I’ve been avoiding for days.

“Jimmer, my parents know about the baby now,” I inform him as my hand automatically rests on my stomach. It would have been impossible for me to keep it from them any longer.

“Okay.” He furrows his brow and it reminds me that I still haven’t answered his question.

“They just don’t know that it’s yours. I made an arrangement with someone. Someone who I know they would be forgiving of…”

“Forgiving of? Jo, we made a baby together we don’t need fuckin’ forgiveness for that.” I can’t decide if he’s more hurt or angry, but it’s not nice to see.

“I can’t lose them. I’m not from your world, Jimmer. What we had was fun and exciting, but life just got really serious. It’s not just me who I have to think about now.” I can feel the tears welling in my eyes as my words come out and I watch them sink in for him.

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