Page 12 of Condemned Soul

“Where were ya?” Jessie looks at me curiously when I step back into the clubhouse an hour later.

“I just had to run some errands.” I shrug him off and take the beer Marilyn hands me.

“You ain’t supposed to ride alone. Where was Troj?”

“Troj has got his own issues to be dealin’ with right now,” I snap. Jessie’s sister bringing an abandoned kid to my club is typical of her kind nature, but it doesn’t come without its risks. Having him here could bring a lot of unwanted heat if the authorities found out.

“Then you should have asked me to come with ya.” My VP looks hurt. “Nyx and Brax headed out to pick up those guys who work for the loan shark Joanne owes. They should be back in about an hour.”

“And where is our mother of the year?” I ask, starting to feel the pressure of all this ATF shit taking its toll on me. Right now, I can only see one conclusion to this and I know for a fact my VP is gonna fight me on it. That’s the reason he can’t know about it just yet.

“She’s up in the cabin lookin’ after Dylan and Sophia.” It shocks me a little to hear that, but what shocks me even more is how much I like the idea of it.

“Good, make our guests comfortable in the basement when they get here. And don’t get started without me.” I head back out the bar and up to the cabins so I can face what I’ve been avoiding since Ella’s party.

I’m taken back for the second time today when I let myself into her cabin and find her sitting on the floor and playing with Sophia. It almost seems as if Joanne’s feeling at home here.

“Where’s Dylan?” I look around the room for my grandson.

“Grandma got trumped by Charlie and Gabriel. Riley took them to the park to kick a ball around.” She smiles.

“Is this little one behavin’ herself?” I gesture my eyes toward Sophia, knowing that she’s a real handful now that she’s running around.

“She’s a good girl, just like her mama was at this age.” Joanne looks down at her fondly.

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t know much about that, would I?” I take the opportunity to get a dig in and watch the disappointment flood her smile as she stands on her feet.

“Jimmer, I appreciate you letting me stay here, and I’m sorry for what happened. But you have to understand that, back then, I was doing what I thought was right.”

“For you maybe, but not for our daughter.” I have to disagree. “I’d have taken ca… You know what? It doesn’t matter, the past is the past and my girl is where she needs to be now.” I shake my head and try to move past it. I can hate on Joanne all I want, but it won’t change anything.

“I did love you, you know. It wasn’t an easy choice to make,” she blurts out, looking at me like she’s fulla regret. It don’t seem like much of a consolation for all the years I spent wishing I had her.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I came here to ask you about the men ya borrowed from. I need to know how deep you’re in.” I move on to what’s important right now.

“I’m pretty deep.” She stiffens her posture and blushes the same way she used to back in the day when she was clinging to her pride.

“Gimme a figure.”

“$250,000,” she mumbles under her breath, and I can’t do a thing to hide my shock.

“$250,000? How the fuck did ya run that up?”

“They didn’t seem to have a limit on what I could borrow and I needed it. I needed that lifestyle, Jimmer. It was all I had left.”

“Jesus, Joanne.” I shake my head and look up at the ceiling.

“Do you know what I’m gonna have to do to write off that kinda money? I’m gonna have to make people fuckin’ dead.” I give it to her straight.

“Won’t be the first time.” The tiny hint of a smile that lifts onto her lips almost makes me weak.

“Don’t do that,” I warn her. “Being cute ain’t gonna get you outta this, you ain’t nineteen anymore.”

“Jimmer, I know I fucked up and I appreciate all you’re doing for me.” She tries the humble approach but I won’t fall victim to this woman again.

“I’ll deal with it, but as soon as this is over. I want ya gone.” I take the time to crouch down and kiss my granddaughter before I storm toward the door.

“Do you ever think about how it might have been?” Her words stop me dead on the spot and force me to turn around. “You know… if I hadn’t made the choice I did?” She lifts her shoulders.

---