Page 79 of Condemned Soul

“Okay, Jess, but if Prez doesn’t wanna know the answer, why is it so important that you find them?” I try to make sense out of what he’s doing here.

“He’s sayin’ goodbye, Maddy.” Jessie looks more scared than ever when he turns back to face me.

“One by one he’s callin’ in his brothers to say goodbye. Yesterday, it was Skid and Thorne, today it was Grimm, Storm, and Hayden. He’s givin’, up.”

“Jessie.” I sigh, wishing I had a resolution to this for him. I’ve seen Jessie overcome so much since we’ve been together, but this. This is different.

“I need to show Jimmer that he can’t lose his faith. He trusted it for all those years when he raised Hayley and loved her unconditionally. I need him to find some of that same kinda belief in me before he bails on us.”

“Jessie, Jimmer’s not bailing on you. He’s doing this for you, for everyone. And you have to take a few seconds out of your own head to try to understand and respect that,” I plead with him. Everyone’s hurt by what’s happening, no one wants it to be this way. I’ve spent sleepless nights trying to find an alternative but there comes a time when you have to admit defeat.

“I can’t lose another person, Mads,” Jessie stops what he’s doing and lowers himself into the armchair beside me. He drops his head into his hands and then forces them through his hair. I get up from where I’m sitting and kneel in front of him.

“Get outta here, you don’t need to see me like this,” he tells me, moving his head to the side to hide himself from me.

“Jessie, it’s okay to be scared.”

“Scared? Maddy, I’m fuckin’ petrified. Since as long as I can remember, Prez has looked out for me. I can’t do this without him. I can’t lead all these people who I care about when I’m this weak,” he admits looking back at me with tears in his eyes.

“You’re not weak, Jess, you're hurting and, of course, you can lead. It’s what Jimmer has been setting you up to do your whole life. This is what he wants, and after all he’s done for you, are you gonna let him down? You may not like his idea, Jessie, but for the sake of this club, you have to be on board with it. I hate it too. But I also can’t bear the idea of losing you. All of us have been through too much, can you imagine if all that had been for nothing?” I watch him take in what I’m saying.

“Shaniya can’t lose Troj, the kids here need their fathers. Love it or hate it, Prez is doing the right thing. And he wouldn’t be leaving us if there was another way.” I grip his hand tight.

“I need him to know that she was his. I need to know that she was his.” His voice comes out weak and broken.

“That, I think, I can help you with,” I tell him, standing up and holding out my hand to him.

* * *

Jessie insists on making me something for lunch, while I get out my laptop and get to work. I don’t want Jessie to pin his hopes on this, but I know he won’t rest until he can prove to himself, and Prez, that Hayley was his daughter. Luckily, and as I suspected, Jimmer had the results done through his doctor’s office, and hacking their system is pretty simple in comparison to what I’ve been doing the past few days. I have his medical records, along with the results that were delivered over 25 years ago, up within 5 minutes of searching.

“I got it,” I tell Jessie as he heads over and places a ham and cheese bagel on the table beside me.

“And?” He looks nervous.

“Hayley was 99.9% Prez’s daughter.” I break the good news and with a relieved smile on his face, Jessie kisses my cheek.

“He’s gonna be so mad at me for goin’ behind his back to find that out, but he needs to hear it. Imagine how it must have felt all those years never bein’ sure.” He heads back to the kitchen counter to fix himself something to eat and just as I’m closing down the files something catches my eye. Something that hits me like a tornado and drops my heart into my stomach. Whatever Jessie’s saying to me fades into background noise as I check it over and over again, to be sure.

“Mads, what’s wrong?” He places his hand over mine when he notices me staring blankly at the screen.

“Nothing.” I quickly close down the tab so he doesn’t see it. “And you know what?” I fake a smile. “I totally forgot that I have to be somewhere.” I get up from the table and try to stop my hands shaking as I reach for my car keys.

“Maddy?” Jessie stares at me confused.

“I promised I’d help Ella with the kids,” I say the first thing I can think of so I can get away. My head is spinning going over the words I just read and suddenly everything makes sense.

“Well, at least finish your lunch.” Jessie picks up my plate reminding me it’s there

“I can’t. I have to go.” I race out the door and get in my car, starting my engine and skidding out the yard.

I have to speak to Prez.

“I see they’re pullin’ out the big guns early.” I laugh when I see Maddy sitting in the visitor’s chair, it’s good to see her, even if she does look furious.

“When were you gonna tell us?” Her voice comes out much softer than I expected it to, and as tears start filling her eyes all that fury vanishes.

“Tell ya what, darlin’?” I let out a sigh when I realize that she got it figured.

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