Page 16 of Devious Whims

I give him a small smile. “I’m safe with Devon. I promise.”

He nods, walking over to my side of the bed and kissing my forehead. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Always.”

My eyes don’t wander while my husband finishes getting ready for his work day. I track every movement and twitch on his face, wondering if the odd conversation was a test or not. It felt like he was seeking something or poking at it in hopes of a reaction. If he suspected that Devon and I had slept together, I feel like he would just say so. Mike isn’t one to beat around the bush, but guilt gathers in my stomach. I go over my answers in my head over and over, even after he’s long gone.

***

Sitting in the middle of the empty room, I watch the curtains sway from the breeze of the cracked window. My heart aches with the thought of finally filling it, except it won’t be my husband’s child. The guilt lingers because I want it to be Devon’s more than I ever did Mike's. But I accepted… I expected by now to have this room littered with toys and the sweet, clean scent of a baby.

It will still be another week before we know if Devon managed to knock me up in one go. A week of anxious waiting and thinking of a way to explain to Mike that I cheated on him with my stepbrother. I wonder if he would leave me then, disgusted with my actions and the disgrace of our marriage. A lump forms in my throat at not having Mike anymore, even after wanting Devon for so long. I’ve grown content with my life, comfortable with the ease of my relationship and the tender heart of my husband.

“What are you doing?” Devon’s rough voice interrupts my small pity party.

I glance at him over my shoulder where he lingers in the doorway. “This would have been the nursery.”

His footsteps echo on the hardwood as he walks over and settles next to me. “It’s white.”

A soft smile twitches on my lips. “Yeah, I didn’t want to jinx anything by painting. I was going to wait and see what we were having.”

He hums, dragging his knees up to his chest and resting his arms on them. Tilting his head toward me, his green eyes study me curiously. “You really wanted a baby with him?”

“I wanted a baby, period,” I say with a sigh. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted any.”

Devon’s eyebrows furrow. “You could have asked me.”

I glare at him. “You barely stayed on the phone long enough to hear me come. And definitely didn’t talk about what would happen if you ever got out.”

“It’s all I thought about, every day. I never felt like those phone calls were long enough. By the time they were telling me to wrap it up, I felt like I had just picked up the receiver. And those little moans of yours were the only thing that kept me going,” he admits.

“Well, I built my life to prepare for whatever it might look like down the road,” I say with a sigh, shifting to lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling.

Devon moves to lie next to me, his shoulder brushing mine. “And now it’s here and you don’t want to leave.”

“I don’t know what I want,” I mutter. “I thought it would be so easy, that everything would be set in stone.”

His fingers circle my wrist before dropping to entangle our hands together. “I can’t share you, Cami. I can leave you if that’s what you want. But it’s all or nothing.”

Tears well in my eyes, and I bite down on my lip. “I know.”

“I’ve loved you for so long,” Devon says, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into my skin. His confession breaks my heart even more.

“I don’t know if I know how to live without you,” he continues in a whisper, as if hating himself for admitting that.

I turn onto my side to face him. “I don’t want to live without you.”

Devon

The muffled creaks and moans in the house are a stark contrast to the groans and humming of men and pipes. The large open space in the bedroom makes me feel exposed, and I fight the urge to change the layout of the furniture. My back won’t be vulnerable if the bed is farther from the door.

It’s only been a few weeks out of lockup, and I can hardly expect my body to unlearn years of conditioning. A part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, looking over my shoulder as if someone is going to grab me and shove me back into my cell.

My whole body tenses when the click of the door opening echoes in the dark room.

“Devon?” Cami whispers, and I only relax a smidge as I raise onto my elbows. Squinting, I try to make out her form lingering in the doorway.

“Yeah?”

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