Page 111 of Salty Pickle

I keep walking.

Last night, I stayed in the guest room, so I go there again.

Matilda won’t come with me, so I don’t try to drag her with me or take her to the balcony. Court can handle her. Hopefully, she’ll mellow out as the pregnancy progresses.

I change out of my shorts and top and into pajamas. Almost everything I own Court bought me. I’m not my own person anymore. Even my goat loves him more.

I text with April for a while, feeling sick. She soothes me and says she and Summer went in on a gift for the baby. I type out Court’s address for where to send it, even though I’m not completely sure I’ll be here.

But where else would I go?

The baby shifts in my belly. He’s coming soon, like it or not. Matilda’s baby, too.

Some things can’t be stopped.

When I come out for breakfast, Court is already gone to work. I make a piece of toast, not sure I can eat much more.

Matilda stands on the dining table, watching me warily. I guess Court let her in, or else she spent the night inside. She has her diaper on. I walk close to sniff it to see if she needs cleaning up.

She takes several steps away from me.

“Matilda, really? You’re going to be like this?” The tears start. I can’t control them at all anymore.

She doesn’t smell bad, so that’s one less thing to worry about at the moment.

I sit on a chair, and she skitters to the opposite side.

My fingers find the grooves of the deep scratches she’s leaving in Court’s table. He’s been awfully tolerant.

I manage to swallow the toast and move to the baby’s room, which brings me more peace. I set the bassinet to rocking, then the swing. I open and close the drawers, fingering the soft fabrics and letting the fresh scent of baby detergent waft out.

It will be okay. I’ll be okay. Julian will be okay.

There’s a knock at the front door. Is it Maggie? Court said she would be coming more often. I wait a moment, since she always lets herself in after knocking.

But there’s only another knock.

I head down the hall and open the security panel screen to see who is out there.

And suck in a breath.

It’s my parents!

How can this be?

How did they know where I was?

I smooth my hair and open the front door.

“Mom? Dad?”

Mom rushes forward to gather me in her arms. I remember this feeling, now that I have it again.

She was always a hugger.

Dad stands behind her. “Lucy-Lu,” he says. “It’s been so long.”

Mom pulls back to look at my belly. “It’s nearly time, isn’t it?”

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