Page 78 of Tell Me Lies: Manlove Edition

“You were the most colorful,” Carsten said. “I was jealous of you.”

“You were?” It wasn’t possible.

“I was. Once I came to terms with who I am, with what I did, and decided to make amends, I knew there was one person I had to see first. You. I’ve apologized to everyone else and done my damndest to fix things. You’re the one I can’t forget and the one I owe the most to.”

“And you’re convinced one night will do the fixing?” A big naive on Carsten’s part, if he did say so.

“No, but it would prove to both of us that we should’ve given each other a chance back in the day. I believe it could work now, too.” Carsten sat up and lowered his foot, but kept his hand folded. “If that kiss was any indication, you feel it, too.”

“What if I do?” He’d almost said he did. God, he had to get a hold of himself.

“You’ll leave tomorrow. That’s not the way I operate. I’m not a one-night-stand kind of guy.”

“That’s another reason Stan left, isn’t it?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Carsten had cut too close to the bone for Will’s comfort.

“I’ve known a few men like Stan and I’ve never actually met him. They want what they want for now, demand they get it, then when you can’t deliver because it’s either impossible or decidedly unfair, they jump ship. They want what they want and no one can make them happy.” Carsten shook his head once. “For me, it was Kip.”

“I’m sorry. Truly.” He didn’t wish the hell Stan had put him through on anyone.

“Kip met me after a show. I hadn’t come out yet, but everyone around me knew. They weren’t happy, but as long as I kept it quiet, they dealt. Kip wanted to be with me, for what I thought was me. Turned out he played the long game and was only hanging on because he thought I’d get him a recording contract. Hang around the concerts, meet people, show up on a record or two, get some credibility and parlay it into something for himself. It almost worked.”

The wistfulness in Carsten’s voice stuck in Will’s mind. So did the story. “What happened?” He hated to admit Carsten had him riveted.

“I overheard him giving the same speech he’d given me the night we’d met.”

“Who was he talking to?” He rested his chin on his hand. The last time he’d been able to simply talk to someone like this and forge a … was this a friendship? It sure felt like the start of friendship.

“Howland Moore, the guy currently at the top of the country music charts.”

He’d heard of him. He wasn’t familiar with the artist’s music, but he’d heard the name. “Okay?”

“He couldn’t get me to do what he wanted, so he got Howland to do it for him. Howland doesn’t seem to care that he’s being used. He’ll probably toss Kip aside in a month. That’s how he works. Not me.”

“No?” Will wished he could take the blurted question back as soon as he asked it.

“I have that coming. I’ve been a dick in the past and I’ll work for the rest of my life to make up for it,” Carsten said. “He wanted to use me and when I didn’t let him, he moved on. I’m glad he’s out of my life, but I’m not glad I got my heart broken. I actually liked him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” Carsten stared at him. “But the situation taught me to be more observant. I realized just how much of a dick I’d been and it was a turning point. I didn’t want to be the man I’d been for the last almost thirty years. I wanted to be better. Someone people could look up to. Someone a man wanted to love. Someone I could respect.”

“You are.” He was as a musician and a man.

“I’m trying.” Carsten didn’t speak, but instead seemed to appraise him. His eyes shimmered and a slight smile pulled at his lips.

Something had changed between him and Carsten. He wasn’t sure what, but things were different.

“What do you say? Are you interested in giving me a chance?” Carsten asked. “At least for one night? You’re convinced I’m the same dick I was before and I would love the chance to welcome you into my world, to show you I’ve changed and to give that spark I know is burning between us a chance to blossom.”

He hesitated. He wanted to believe Carsten would respect him, but he’d been burned. Did Carsten deserve the chance to prove himself?

Didn’t everyone?

“Well?” Carsten asked. “What do you say?”

He had to answer. Had to make up his mind. Go with his gut and push Carsten away, or give in to the simmering passion and give him a chance? It was time to do something for himself. “Yes.”

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