Page 71 of Tell Me Lies: Manlove Edition

“I know.”

“So why should I get hooked up with someone? I’m busy and happy.” He was busy, but the happy--not so much. Didn’t matter. He needed to focus on his work.

She stared at him and he knew she didn’t buy his line of bullshit.

“What?”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“So?” He had to keep this in check. She might be his grad assistant, but she wasn’t his social coordinator.

“You need to get over Stan and move forward. I have a feeling about this one.” She grinned. “And I might have talked to him. Bye.” She ran out of the room before he could argue.

“Wait.” She’d talked to him? Why? How? Jesus. Will could only imagine what she’d told him.

Or what Carsten had said in return.

His stomach lurched again. His past tended to come back to bite him in the ass. Now that Carsten was in his orbit, he’d be in big trouble. He’d fall for Carsten’s blue eyes and crooked smile. He’d want to fall into his arms, too.

A piece of his heart belonged to Carsten. Back in the day, despite the harsh treatment, he’d been a sucker for Carsten. Was he still infatuated with him? He’d never know until he saw him, but he had the feeling he was in trouble. He’d fall and have his heart broken, then torn apart. All because he liked Carsten Gold.

Did he really want to get burned again?

Why did love have to be so difficult?

****

Carsten sat on his tour bus and swiped through his messages. He hated the nitty-gritty of running his social media now that he’d fallen out of favor with his management’s social media team. The people he’d worked with before didn’t want to associate with a gay man. He’d surrounded himself with shitty people and they’d shown their true colors. They wanted money and fame by association.None of them had taken the time to know the real man.

Unfortunately, the real man was more dimensional than they’d given him credit for being.

He read the rest of the messages and switched to his social media streams. Most of the feedback was now positive, but when he’d come out, it’d been bad.Really bad.No one wanted to associate with him.Some even told him he wasn’t a real man.The announcement damn near ruined his career. Being himself would be his downfall.

He turned his attention to his personal email. Ashley was supposed to be managing them, but with over five hundred unanswered messages, he guessed she hadn’t gotten around to it. He scrolled through the mail, but swiped most to delete it.

His phone pinged with a personal notification. He’d almost forgotten about his other phone. He dropped the tablet in favor of the smaller device.

Jesus Fuck. He should be making music, not doing this kind of housekeeping. He should be practicing his scales and keeping his fingers limber. Should be composing.No, he had to oversee correspondence.

He read the first two emails on his phone. One email concerned the contract for his show at Northern College. Good. He’d been waiting for that one to be completed. The second email involved the layout for the arena at the school and how his stage would be set.

Everything was so standard—the stage, his setup and the building, a basketball arena at the college.Fine.

He looked at the third email, but before he could really read it, his thoughts turned to his time in school, particularly high school.To Will.

His heart squeezed.

Will had been his problem in so many ways. Will was everything he wanted to be and had been such an easy target. Will was different. Will wore bright colors and had pink hair for a while. He created art and sang so well. He also had no problem being out. He’d taken the abuse for admitting he was gay, but never lost his cool.He’d never lost that smile.

God. Carsten closed his eyes. He’d been so jealous of Will. The guy seemed to have everything going his way.

A burst of pain washed over him. He’d hated Will for having everything in place—the grades, the look, the circle of friends and supportive family. Will had everything he wished he could have.

But that was life.Sometimes it wasn’t fair.

He could still hear the things he’d said to Will. ”I hope you die.” Who said things like that? “You dress like a girl.” Jesus. “You do realize no one’s wearing those shoes now?” He remembered the time he’d tripped Will at graduation practice. Everyone saw and most everyone laughed. At the time he’d thought he’d done it to be funny, but he’d been cruel and oddly thought Will falling at his feet would make Will fall for him. Hardly.

He’d wanted to make Will pay for being gay and being out. Carsten couldn’t forget the way his parents looked at him when he came out. When Carsten had tried to come out, his own father beat the fuck out of him. He could still feel the tender spots from the bruises, even if they were long gone and only phantom pain. For six months straight, his father managed to beat him in one way or another, inflicting pain in what he called an attempt to make Carsten not gay. When that hadn’t worked, they’d kicked him out of the house and only asked him back when he made it big. They didn’t want it to look like they didn’t support their son. They hadn’t encouraged his music career and only wanted in on the fame he’d earned.

---