Page 71 of Tainted Gifts
"All in all, he downplayed the whole situation, and the committee lapped it up. They laughed it off like an overreaction on their part, and they thanked the great commander for his time in the matter. That was the first time I realized what a great man was running the United.
"Then, several centuries later, Hale looked me up. I was a Lieutenant at the time. He told me to meet him at Seminole because he had something he wanted to discuss with me. Turns out, he wanted me to take his place. He knew he could trust me, and he knew I would do anything to keep others like me safe.
"He groomed me, prepared me for the life of the commander, and when the committee went to make a selection, Hale Banner's vote carried the most weight. They all trusted his decision, because they all knew a war was coming. They trusted the commander knew what he was doing by choosing me. I often wanted to meet you, but I never got the chance."
With his eyes hybrid blue, it makes it easier for me to read his emotions, feel them like I never have before. Every emotion he felt while speaking was as clear to me as if it was my own. I've never had such clarity with my empathic ability before.
"Really?" he muses, running a hand through my hair before kissing me quickly.
"I think your eyes open you up to me. It makes it each emotion so vivid, vibrant... honest. With your pale blues, I feel a connection, but with your hybrid blues, I feel like I'm inside you."
He smiles, but it's brief. He starts thinking, and it's almost as if I can read his mind by reading his emotion. Waves of heartbreak, pain, and dread. That's what I feel, and it breaks my heart because I know why he feels that.
His eyes go back pale blue, cutting me off from his emotions so quickly that it stills my breath.
"You don't need to suffer my pain as well as yours," he murmurs, answering the question I was going to ask.
Tears bubble up as my lips find his against all sane reason. He pulls me to him, gently returning the kiss, but I can taste his reluctance.
"I saw it, Aria. I know he's meant for you now, and though it kills me, I won't steal that from you."
His words slice me into, and I look at him with my tears teetering.
"What do you mean?"
He frowns, staring into me.
"When Kellan and I were on the verge of fighting, he dropped his guard. He let me into his head for the first time ever. I saw it. I saw the magnetic pull the two of you share, felt it even. I saw everything leading him to this conclusion, and though it kills me, I see it. I understand it's real. It just... it feels wrong, but that's because I'm a selfish asshole who wants you for myself."
A burning pain shoots through me, all of his efforts to keep the pain away now fail as I'm forced to feel nothing but misery. He coos to me as I sob into his chest. Hearing him admit I belong with Kellan is the most painful thing I've felt all night.
"Aria, don't think that, baby. I'm just trying to make you happy."
I look at him, realizing I honestly can't lose him. Selfishly, I shake my head, refusing to leave him when I've begged him to move on. "I don't want to be with him. I've tried. I really, really have, but I don't even want him touching me. I love you."
He steals my breath with a kiss that happens almost too fast, and I'm back on my back, pinned under him as he slides against me. I can feel him again, feel his love for me as he lets his hybrid blues come back.
It makes me gasp to feel how real this is. I thought my heightened senses were making me love him so much more than he loves me, but I don't. He loves me just as much, and it warms me in a way that makes the tears pour harder.
I choose you.
He kisses me harder, making me feel alive so fully before he pulls back. "You'll only choose me until the bond. You know that don't you? Once he goes savage in front of you, you'll bond and I'll be a memory."
I cry for a whole new set of reasons. This is so agonizingly painful, but I doubt even the bond of a counter could make me love Jase any less. I know I can never love anyone any more than I do him.
"Aria, don't make this decision right now. Wait until you're better and you can think clearly. Right now, you're just confused. I mean... hell, we're practically naked and you need me to keep you from being in pain. Right now, touching him is so terrible because his heat makes you sick. Once you're better and you don't need me, then you can tell me what you want."
I nod, not really believing what I feel will subside. I love him.
"I'm going to have blue balls for a year," he grumbles while rolling over and spooning with me from behind, making me laugh while crying too.
Then something hits me with a sickening threat, he shivers, reading my mind.
"If Melania has a counter, then you will too," I murmur in a hoarse whisper.
He sighs out, not answering right away as we stew in the suspended silence, dread filling us both.
"I didn't know if it was possible until Mel found Rex. We know very little about us. It's not like there's anyone else to pass down their knowledge."
