Page 51 of Caesar DeLuca
“Eggs are soft and digestible enough. A little bit of pancake shouldn’t hurt either. But it wouldn’t matter anyway. You were out shoveling snow this morning.”
He takes the seat across from mine and picks up his knife and fork. “Somebody had to do it. I was up. So I figured, why not?”
“Why were you up?” I find myself asking before I can stop myself. Even the tart sound of my voice makes me want to cringe.
Be casual. Stop caring so much.
Caesar shrugs. “I’ve rested a lot these past few days. A man like me grows tired of sleep. I prefer action, being productive. Since my options are limited under this roof, I figured clearing the driveway was the most productive activity available.”
“Oh. Well… thanks.”
“You alright?” He pauses cutting into his stack of pancakes to peer across the table. He’s studying me for any signs of something amiss. “You seem like you’re not yourself this morning.”
“I’m fine. I’m just glad the storm’s over. We can… go about our business.”
“Ariana—”
“You can go be productive. I can… I can be a real recluse again.” I force on a smile as if I’ve said something witty.
Really, my heart aches. My skin flushes hot thinking how foolish and sensitive I am.
What was I thinking last night? How could I let my guard down?
I left the outside world for a reason. I’m better off alone. I’m safer on my own. My heart sure won’t be broken by men like Caesar and Freddie.
Caesar sets down his knife and fork. His hand stretches out to grab hold of mine, scooping it up within the warmth of his palm. He pierces me with an unblinking stare that’s intrusive and intense all at once.
“Ariana,” he says in his stern, rough voice, “you’re upset about something. Is this about yesterday?”
“Nobody’s upset. I made a joke?—”
“What happened between us was very passionate,” he interrupts. “I had a very good time. I find you so irresistible that it’s dangerous. A man like me can’t become distracted by these types of things. I have a large operation to run and some revenge to exact on the garbage that tried to kill me.
“You’re a special woman, Ariana. You found it in your heart to take me in and look after me. Even after I gave you many reasons not to. You’re beautiful and sweet… and very deserving of good things. I will be having your security system upgraded and I will be paying for you to take shooting lessons. Should anybody ever give you trouble, I will give you a private number you can always reach me on.”
There’s a subtle note of affection in his voice as he speaks. He strokes the back of my hand with his thumb as if providing comfort.
Instead, all he provides is the prick of heartbreak.
I take in a deep breath and squash down the pain. I tune out the voice inside my ear telling me, I told you so.
This is how it has to be; this is how it was always going to be.
I had just been silly enough to let my imagination convince me differently.
Looking Caesar in the eye, I give a nod. “It was a surprisingly good few days. I’m glad you’re healed up. We can drive into town after breakfast.”
He seems on the verge of probing further, his suspicion tangible, but he drops the matter. He doesn’t question me on it, and we fall into a tense silence.
After we’re done eating, we drive off in my RAV4. I grip the steering wheel and focus on the road ahead as if I haven’t driven into town a thousand times before. It serves as a distraction to the confusion filling me up sight unseen on the inside.
But I don’t dare let myself go there.
Not right now. Not as I’m driving Caesar into town so he can be on his way.
I take him to First Street, where almost everything you need is located. Down the block is the community center I had been at just the other night when I’d driven home and come across Caesar in the snow. The rest of the shops and businesses lining the street are either still closed from the blizzard or just reopening.
I park against the curb outside the bus terminal. Caesar and I step onto the sidewalk pavement and let uncertainty linger for a second.
