Page 79 of Break the Ice
She lets the question ruminate. She spends a moment sipping on her orange juice through a straw and then looks up at me with her pretty brown eyes naked and honest.
For real this time. There’s no way this kind of vulnerability is an act.
“What would impress me?” she repeats slowly. “How about a man that’s not out to take advantage of me in some way? How about a man that I could trust—not just says I can trust him—but who I can actually trust my life with? Do you know anyone?”
Me, Sugar.
You can fucking trust me.
I’ll prove it to you.
“What would it take to make you believe them?” I ask, my tone restrained.
“That’s for them to figure out. There’s no cheat sheet answer for the kind of trust I’m talking about.”
I peer up at the clouds floating by and lean my arms back on the trunk of the car. “You don’t trust anybody, so you don’t give people a reason to trust you. Very interesting.”
She laughs airily. “You’re no better. You prefer it when people have the worst opinion of you, that way they won’t trust you either. It works out better because then you never have to get close to anyone.”
“Toxic childhood. Most people have one.”
“Something tells me yours was more toxic than others,” she says smartly, and fuck, I hate that she’s right. She leans back in the same way I am, tilting her gorgeous face up to the bright sky. “Let’s put it all out on the table, Alpha. I know exactly what’s up with you.”
The insides of my stomach clench. A rare nervous reaction out of me that I contain. I play it off with dimples and a grin. “Tell me. I’d love to hear your latest theory.”
“You grew up without a mother or any other kind of consistent female presence. Your parents were never very in love and he was a womanizer,” she lists off without pause. “We’ve established your older brother was a hockey prodigy like your father and your baby sister was a genius. It made you resent your family… and others too. The only time you got attention was when you acted out.”
“Not bad, Sugar, but we’ve been over this. Most of that information is part of public record.”
“I’m not finished yet,” she says sharply. “Your dad was hard on you. Maybe too hard. Especially about hockey. He expected you to carry on the legacy he left. Once your brother was injured, even more. But he always thinks the worst of you. So now you want everyone to do the same. You want people to assume the worst of you. It gives you permission to assume the worst of them too. You never have to get close to anybody.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I just enjoy toying with people. It’s a fun pastime.”
“Or maybe you care about people but don’t want to admit you do.” Her eyes remain on the sky as flocks of birds flit by. “I don’t know many men who would cover up a murder for a woman they claim to hate.”
“I don’t hate you, Sugar. I just love fucking with you.”
“Covering up a homicide is more than a hobby fucking with someone.”
She’s right… but I’ll never let her know she is.
I keep my tone cool. My body language casual. “Was that your official confession that you did Hawk in?”
“No… but I am wondering if it’s yours.”
“You’ll have to make more sense. I’m not sure I follow what you’re implying.”
“Someone hit Mr. Hawk over the head.”
“You were the only two in the room,” I remind her, leaning closer. My shoulder bumps into hers to provoke her attention. When her gaze flits over to mine, I smirk at her. “You think I killed him. I’m pretty damn sure you did. I guess we’ll have to find a way to trust that we’re not lying to each other.”
“A ghost didn’t knock him over the head. Someone had to have done it. Hawk had two ex-wives. Maybe one of them did it.”
“Except they weren’t at the party.”
“Never underestimate a scorned woman. She’ll always find a way.”
“You speaking from experience, Sugar? What’d Hawk do to piss you off?”
