Page 90 of The Dating Pact

Scooting over to lay my head on his shoulder, I placed my hand over his heart. “I didn’t know if you’d ever invite me over like this.” I swallowed, thinking about my wording. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but we also needed to have this conversation. “I know Mira was a huge part of your life. She still is. I know you love me, and I don’t think I’m a particularly jealous person, but… It’s impossible for you, for the kids, even me, to forget about her, and I don’t want to be compared to a ghost.”

Jude rubbed his hand up and down my back, remaining quiet, and I lifted my head. “Am I the asshole? I don’t want it to sound like you can’t?—”

“You’re not the asshole. It doesn’t sound like anything besides honesty, and that’s what we need.”

I tucked my head back down, listening to his heartbeat and then the low rumble of his voice. “I don’t compare you, if that’s something you’re worried about. What I had with Mira is totally different and separate from what I have with you. And I guess, sometimes it is easy to romanticize it because we had a good life. My marriage was good. I loved her very much, and in some ways, that love is still very real. I’m sure that’s probably really hard to hear, and I’m sorry.”

I blinked at the sting in my eyes, and he kissed the top of my head. “Sometimes I think about different timelines. Alternative lives, you know? Like, in another timeline, Mira is still alive and we’re still married and everything is great. But in another one, Mira and I were never even together because I never got up the guts to ask her out in high school, or she would’ve said no, or her parents wouldn’t have allowed us to go out. Her parents were really strict,” he said, almost as an afterthought. “But in this life, the only one I’ve got, Mira isn’t here anymore. You are. And if she hadn’t died, I probably would’ve never become so close to you. I’d never have learned how wonderful you are. How smart and kind and brave you are. If there is anything I can promise you, it’s that I am not comparing you to the past. You are truly the one person to remind me to keep living for the future.”

He cupped the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. “You are my future, Brooke. For as long as you’ll have me and for as long as the universe allows, I want to be with you.”

I dabbed at the tears on my cheeks, nodding, because I couldn’t speak.

“I don’t think it’ll be easy. But I do think it’ll be amazing.” He rotated us so he was above me, his thumbs swiping under my eyes. “I love you.”

“I know,” I croaked.

“I’ll need you to be patient.”

“I know that too.”

Even in the dark, his grin glowed. “I’ve been thinking more and more about this house. It was never the plan to stay here. It’s small, and the kids are getting bigger, and only having one full bathroom sucks.”

“So you think you’ll be moving soon?”

“Soonish.” He shrugged. “Maybe.”

I sniffed a laugh. “I love you.”

“I know.” He bent to kiss me, but my yawn interrupted him. So he redirected his kiss to my cheek as he lay on his side, sliding his arm around my waist. “Sleep now, honeybee. I got you.”

And he did. So I closed my eyes and slept.

TWENTY-FOUR

JUDE

Banging on the staircase woke me, my eyes shooting open. It was Seb. He always sounded like an elephant stomping around.

“Dad! Wake up! You have to check your email.”

I sat up, the bedsheet shifting with my movement, revealing Brooke’s shoulder, and multiple things hit me at once.

Number one, we’d forgotten to set an alarm last night.

Number two, it was after eight o’clock in the morning.

Number three, Sebastian was about to see Brooke in my bed.

And right on cue, he flung open the door, popping his head about the frame. “Dad, I was messaging with Landon. They sent out the email for who made the team. You have to check to see?—”

His attention slanted from me to Brooke, and I had no time to do anything.

“Seb,” I started at the same time Brooke lurched awake next to me, jackhammering up in bed with wide-eyed confusion. My son’s face drained of color, and I lifted my hand. To do what, I didn’t know. “Buddy, I?—”

“I hate you!” His face went from pale to bright red in less than a second. “I hate you!” He fisted his hands at his sides, his head toggling back and forth as he screamed at Brooke and me. “I fucking hate both of you!”

Then he pivoted and ran.

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