Page 109 of The Dating Pact

“I started going after my mom died,” he admitted, and he might as well have reached into my chest to rip out my heart. No ten-year-old should ever have to utter those words, though I stayed quiet, waiting to see where this conversation was headed.

“But then I stopped for a while. I guess Dad didn’t think I needed it anymore, and I didn’t.”

I filled in the blank. He didn’t need it until he saw me in bed with his dad.

Relatable.

What kind of therapy would I need if I found my parents in bed? I once saw my dad squeeze my mom’s boob when I was little and nearly threw up.

“Do you think it’s helping?” I asked and held my breath until he answered.

“I guess.”

“Good. That’s good. That’s really good.”

A few moments passed before Sebastian cleared his throat, his gaze flitting up and down between mine and where he scratched a stain on his jeans. “Sorry for yelling at you that day.”

“I appreciate that, but I know you were upset, and sometimes when people are upset, they react without thinking.”

“You’ve always been really nice to me and Lulu, and…I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”

When he looked up at me for more than half a second, I opened my arms. “Could I have a hug?”

He thought about it, chewing on his lip, and then nodded. I reached over, folding him in my arms and, after a few seconds, felt his hands wrap around my back. “I’m sorry, Sebastian. If I ever do anything to hurt your feelings, I hope we can talk like this. Or even if you want to talk about anything else going on in your life. I’m here for you. I hope you know that.”

He nodded, and I swore I heard a tiny sniffle. I hugged him tighter. “I love you.”

He didn’t respond, but I didn’t mind. Not when I felt his hands lock in place at my back and his face tuck into my shoulder.

I smiled against his temple. “When you’re ready—when you and your sister are ready—I would really like to play Go Fish with you. All of us, me, you, Amelia, and your dad.”

He backed away from me, his solemn eyes taking in me and my offer. He understood, because like I said, he was a smart kid. He smiled then, and I knew we’d be okay. All of us would be okay.

“Here you go!” Amelia skipped around the table, waving a piece of construction paper at me, grinning widely enough to show off how her front tooth was coming in.

I crouched down to meet her and take the paper from her hand. “What’s this?”

“I made it at school.”

I made sure to keep the smile on my face as I admired the…face? made out of macaroni.

“We-we’re doing shapes and fractions!”

“Lu, take the volume down,” Jude said, tugging on one of her curls.

I held the paper out in front of me so everyone could see the Picasso. “And you made this for me?”

She hopped on her toes, all proud and innocent, and god, I loved her too. I towed her into me with one arm. “I love it so much. I’m going to hang it up at home. Thank you.”

Pleased with herself, she hugged me back, wrapping her arms around my neck. I picked up the little pixie and kissed her cheek. “Love you, girlfriend.”

“Love you too!” she squealed in my ear.

Even though she might have burst my eardrum, I still heard Jude’s low rumble of a laugh. He stared at me, wordlessly speaking.

I love you, he told me.

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