Before I opened my eyes to see the couple on the other side of the glass smiling knowingly in my general direction, shame started to creep into my head.
No. I tried to tamp it down. Like I’d said back at the hotel lounge, surely I deserved a little anonymous fun.
But old habits died hard, and the constant critic who lived inside my head couldn’t be kept down for long.
How are you going to explain yourself if Theo goes to jail?
Sorry, Mom and Dad, maybe I could have done more, but instead of preparing for the meeting with the creditors, I spent the night screwing a stranger in a sex club.
Even the words in my head echoing in my head felt like a punch to the gut.
As soon as I caught my breath, I closed my legs and pushed myself up, rolling my dress back down as I stood.
The one thing I didn’t do was turn around.
Just like before, it was a hell of a lot easier to stare blankly at the performers in front of me than face Gabriel…or myself.
“Liv?” he said with the same sardonic laugh I’d found so attractive just minutes before. “Are you still with me?”
“I…” I replied, feeling more out of my depth than ever before. I didn’t have a clue what to do next. “… I’m just a little shaky.”
“You still haven’t eaten,” he said, providing me with the excuse I was having trouble coming up with myself.
“Yeah, that must be it,” I said, finally turning around.
Instead of looking at Gabriel, though, I let my gaze settle on the side table by the couch. Even though a part of me already knew what I’d see—the audio knob turned to the two-way setting—the sight only deepened the sense of shame that had taken root in my belly.
Wow! When you fuck up, you really go all the way, my inner critic sniped.
I couldn’t look away even when, out of my peripheral vision, I noted Gabriel zipping up his pants.
“I’m sure the carbonara I ordered has arrived by now,” he said before standing. “There’s the bathroom. Why don’t you join me in the shower after you’ve had a few bites?”
This time, I opted for a non-committal hmm instead of a nod. Not that Gabriel seemed to notice the difference. He was already walking past me toward the door he’d gestured to.
The instant it clicked closed behind him, I reached out and quickly turned the audio knob all the way off. Then, suddenly grateful that we’d never gotten around to taking off our clothes, I strode over to the front door. A tray with two plates of absolutely delicious-looking pasta and a bottle of wine greeted me as I threw it open. I ignored all of it as I stepped out into the hall.
Then I started running, my modest heels clicking loud enough to be heard three blocks over as they pounded against the marble tile. And I didn’t stop until I was out of the club, past the bouncers, and frantically flagging down a cab on the sidewalk.
Mercifully, one pulled up right away.
“Where to, miss?” the driver asked once I was safely inside.
Even though I’d never wanted to be back home so badly in all of my life, I somehow doubted a New York cabbie would drive the nearly nine hundred miles to Milwaukee.
“The Central Park Ritz,” I said.
“Oh…classy,” he said with that trademark NYC accent.
I figured he had to be describing the hotel because, in that moment, I had never felt more trashy in my life.
Chapter Five
OLIVIA
The next morning came far too quickly.
The second I got back to my hotel room, I’d flopped down on the center of the bed, fully clothed. I didn’t even bother to kick off my shoes. I just grabbed one of the pillows and curled up in a ball, utterly unsure what to do next.