Page 68 of Madness

I explain about the envelope, about Cassidy's visit, about Dakota's message that it's my choice whether to open it or not. As I speak, I pace the kitchen, my bare feet cool against the linoleum floor.

"Wow," Shannon says when I finish. "That's... a lot. How are you feeling about all this?"

I laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Honestly? I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. One minute, I'm curious and almost excited to finally know the truth. The next, I'm terrified of what I might find out."

"That's understandable," Shannon says softly. "It's a big decision."

"It's not just the envelope," I admit, sinking onto a kitchen chair. "It's Dakota, it's us. I miss him. God, I miss him so much it hurts sometimes. But I'm also still scared."

"Scared of what, exactly?"

I close my eyes, feeling the sting of tears. "Of getting hurt again. Of putting my heart on the line. Of falling in love with an addict."

"But Dakota's not Miles," Shannon points out again gently.

"I know that. Logically, I know that. But emotionally..." I trail off, unsure how to express the tangle of feelings in my chest.

"Lauren," Shannon's voice is firm but kind. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Always."

"I think you're using this envelope and the space between you and Dakota as an excuse. You're scared, and that's okay. But at some point, you have to decide if what you and Dakota have is worth the risk."

Her words hit me hard. I feel my chest tighten, my breath coming in short gasps. "You think I'm being a coward?"

"No," Shannon says firmly. "I think you're being human. But I also think you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. You've been through so much. You can handle this, too."

I wipe away a tear that's escaped down my cheek. "So, what do you think I should do?"

"I can't make that decision for you," Shannon says. "But if it were me? I'd wait until Dakota's back from tour. Then I'd sit down with him and open that envelope together. Whatever's inside, you'll face it as a team."

"But what if..." I start, then stop, swallowing hard.

"What if what?" Shannon prompts.

"What if what's inside changes everything? What if it ruins any chance Dakota and I have?"

Shannon is quiet for a moment. "Or what if it brings you closer? What if knowing the truth helps you both heal and move forward together?"

I hadn't considered that possibility. The thought sends a flutter of hope through my chest. "You really think that's possible?"

"I think anything's possible," Shannon says. "But you'll never know if you don't take the risk."

After we hang up, I look at the envelope again. My heart is racing, and I can feel a thin sheen of sweat on my palms. But for the first time since it arrived, the envelope doesn't feel like a ticking time bomb. Instead, it feels like... a possibility. A chance for truth, for healing, for moving forward.

I pick up my phone again, and before I can second-guess myself, I type out a text to Dakota.

ME: Hey. I hope the tour is going well. When you're back, we should talk. About us, about the envelope, about everything. I miss you.

My finger hovers over the send button for a long moment. Then, taking a deep breath, I press it.

It's a small step, but it's a step forward.

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DAKOTA

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