Page 23 of Madness

I can't help but grin. "Yeah. Wow."

I close my eyes for a moment, savoring the sensation. When I open them, I'm met with Lauren's gaze, her hazel eyes wide and bright. There's a softness there that wasn't present earlier in the evening, a vulnerability that makes my heart ache in the best possible way.

Lauren's hand, which had been resting on my chest, slowly slides up to the nape of my neck. Her fingers thread through my hair, sending a shiver down my spine. I watch as she bites her lower lip, a gesture I'm quickly learning means she's deep in thought.

"Dakota," she whispers, her voice slightly husky. She clears her throat and tries again. "Dakota, I... this is..."

I can see the conflict playing out on her face - the desire, the hesitation, the hope, and the fear all warring for dominance. Her eyes flick down to my lips and then back up, and I feel her lean in almost imperceptibly.

But then she takes a small step back, her hand falling from my neck to rest on my arm. She doesn't let go completely, though, her grip tightening slightly as if she's anchoring herself.

"This is nice," she finally says, a small, hesitant smile tugging at her lips. "Really nice. But also..."

"Scary?" I offer, and I see relief flood her features.

"Yeah," she nods, letting out a breath. "Scary."

I watch as she squares her shoulders, a determined look settling over her face. It's the same look I saw when she talked about going back to school, about making a difference. It makes me want to know every facet of her, to understand all the layers that make up Lauren.

"But maybe," she continues, her voice stronger now, "maybe scary isn't always bad?"

The hope in her voice, the tentative optimism in her eyes - it's almost too much. I want to pull her close again, to promise her the world. Instead, I settle for bringing her hand to my lips and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"No," I agree, my voice rough with emotion. "Sometimes scary can be pretty damn amazing."

The smile that breaks across her face is radiant, lighting up the entire parking lot. As she leans in for another kiss, I can feel her smile against my lips, and can sense the mix of excitement and nervousness in the way her body trembles slightly against mine.

At this moment, I'm acutely aware of every little reaction, every small gesture. And I know, without a doubt, that I'm not alone in falling hard and fast.

We break the kiss, my forehead resting against Lauren's, and a realization hits me. For the first time in what feels like forever, I haven't thought about drinking all evening. The usual gnawing need, the constant battle against cravings - it's all been quiet.

I take a deep breath, inhaling her scent, and it dawns on me that she's become a different kind of intoxication. Her presence, her smile, the way she sees me - it's all more potent than any alcohol I've ever tasted.

“You okay?” Lauren asks, noticing my sudden thoughtfulness.

I pull back slightly, meeting her concerned gaze. “Yeah, I'm... I'm great, actually. I just realized something.”

“What's that?” she asks, her hand still resting on my chest.

I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to burden her with the weight of my addiction. But her eyes are open, patient, and I find myself wanting to share this moment with her.

“Being with you... it's the first time in a long time that I haven't felt the need to drink. You make me forget about all that. In a good way.”

Lauren's eyes widen slightly, and I see a mix of emotions flash across her face - surprise, concern, and something that looks a lot like hope.

“Dakota,” she says softly, “that's... I'm glad. But I don't want you to feel like you have to rely on me for that. Your sobriety is your journey.”

Her words, gentle but firm, remind me why I'm drawn to her. She doesn't try to fix me or take on my battles. She just... sees me.

“I know,” I assure her. “And I'm not putting that on you. I just... I wanted you to know that you have a positive effect on me. More than you realize."

We stand there for a moment, neither of us wanting to break the spell. But reality starts to creep back in, and I see Lauren glance at her watch.

"I should go," she says reluctantly. "Roman..."

I nod, understanding. "Of course. Can I see you again soon?"

Lauren smiles, and it's like the sun coming out. "I'd like that."

---