Page 13 of Mayhem

I saw it in mirrors for years when I could bring myself to even fucking look. Felt the weight of the baggage dragging behind each step, screaming, don't look back. Every new town, every new band, just run. Keep chaos always circling to outpace the demons nipping at my heels.

Maybe Tess had a rough upbringing too. Hard things that force you to grow up quick and affect you for a long time after. Like how I started putting up walls early so I wouldn’t keep getting hurt anymore by people who were supposed to protect me. Those survival instincts kicking in teaching you not to feel too much or need anyone.

Could two people broken in similar jagged ways find an unexpected safe harbor in each other down the line? Past and future colliding, then realigning into something steadier together?

The thought doesn’t scare me as much as it probably should. But not much scares me anymore.

Whatever she’s survived, it clearly fine-tuned an empathy that reaches free spirits like Charlie. I ought to resent an outsider cracking those shields around my daughter. Yet with Tess, I can't summon the same wariness I normally would. And that might be what shakes me more than anything.

What is it about Tess that makes me willing to completely drop my guard for her? And why don’t I feel like fighting it?

My leg bounces restlessly as I debate grabbing another beer or trying to force sleep. Charlie's light snores drift from her room down the hall, but my brain spins too fast to shut off. Before I overthink the impulse, I grab my phone to call Tess.

I stare at her name glowing in my contacts, finger hovering indecisively. Come on, man. It’s just a work call. I hit dial before my nerve fails.

She answers on the third ring. “Brad?”

“Hey, sorry. I know it’s late. This wildcard bass player thing has just been bugging me.”

Smooth, Chambers. Real fucking subtle.

Tess laughs softly. “You and me both. It’s unconventional but that video...he has something special, right? I can’t get his sound out of my head.”

I exhale, relieved she’s as preoccupied, and by the musicality not just the uncertainty. Or the guy’s alleged ‘cuteness.’

“Exactly. Like his style is familiar but totally unique too?” I pace aimlessly, enthusiasm spilling out. “I don’t know why I’m so obsessed about figuring this guy out all of a sudden.”

A prickly silence follows my clumsy transparency. I squeeze my eyes shut cursing internally. Way to play it cool, dumbass. I scramble to recover some ground. “Uh, anyway, sorry to bug you after hours. I just value your take on this whole crazy thing.”

Her soft breath fills the brief quiet until she speaks gently. “You’re not bugging me at all. I’m glad you called.” My stomach flips oddly. She continues, “This is uncharted territory for me too, remember? We’ll figure things out together.”

The sincerity in her words bands tight around my chest. I clear my throat roughly, fighting all the foreign feelings. “Right. Cool. So, what do we know about him? Any ideas of what to expect?”

I hear shuffling on Tess's end. "Ian’s been handling the contact, but let's see, what little social media he has says his name's Dakota. No last name though."

"Hmm...Dakota." I roll the name around my head trying to conjure some solid mental image of tomorrow’s guest. I know what the dude looks like, and how he plays, but absolutely nothing else. "Well that tells us exactly nothing."

Tess laughs, and the sound warms my chest. "Very mysterious. His technique seems mostly self-taught and adventurous. Lots of unexpected chord changes and rhythms."

"So, you really think he could work with our sound?" I switch the phone to my other ear, curiosity spiking.

"Absolutely. That raw creative energy could be exactly what you guys need." Tess pauses, tone thoughtful. "The passion reminds me of seeing you all perform actually."

I freeze, my heart racing strangely at her praise. I clear my throat, fishing for composure. “What, you saying I look passionate up there too?”

“I’d never feed that rockstar ego too much, but...” Tess’s teasing voice trails off suggestively. Heat rushes into my neck and I snort out an awkward laugh to cover my flustered reaction. An odd tension creeps into the silence until Tess redirects. “Anyway, guess we’ll find out more soon.”

“Yeah, guess so.” I hesitate, grasping for excuses to prolong this call. Longing to know more about what lurks beneath her polished exterior too. But I’m feeling awkward as fuck and can’t think of a smooth line. “So... read any good books lately?”

Tess giggles at my random question. "Oh gosh, I wish I had time to read books. Between prepping for this new role and trying to have some semblance of a social life, free time is pretty scarce. My Netflix queue is embarrassing."

I smile, settling back into the couch and propping my feet up. "No judgment here. Unless we're talking reality shows. Please tell me you have better taste than that."

"Hey! Don't come at me for The Great British Bake Off," Tess protests playfully. "That show is a national treasure."

"If you say so." I chuckle. "But nah, I feel you on the no free time thing. Usually by the time I get Charlie to bed I just veg out to dumb videos too. Adulting is so glamorous, right?"

Tess hums in amused agreement. "Oh yeah, peak rockstar living over here. Yesterday's mascara is still clinging to dear life and remnants of mac and cheese dinners past are now stuck on my nice work blouses."

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