Page 61 of Mayhem

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I’D RATHER SEE YOUR STAR EXPLODE

BRAD

I’m gripping the phone in my hand so tightly; I think I might crush it with my fist. Actually, I wouldn’t mind too much if I broke it. All it’s doing is causing destruction.

I can’t believe this is happening.

Why in the world did Sierra do this? What is she getting out of this? When I talked to her earlier, I was crystal clear that we weren’t getting back together. I haven’t even read the article about it yet, but I don’t need to. The fallout from it tells me all I need to know.

And from Tess’s reaction, I know that she’s hurting. I didn’t do a God damned thing but answer a phone call, and now my life is in utter shambles.

I need to fix this. But how? What the fuck can I do from here to fix anything? My mind races, searching for a solution to this cluster fuck, and how I can convince Tess that I’m telling her the truth.

Fuck it. I need to talk to Tess face to face. She needs to see for herself that I mean what I say.

I call Ian and explain the situation as best as I can while packing Charlie’s overnight bag. He agrees to take her for the night for an impromptu sleepover so that I can go to Tess’s and explain in person. This isn’t something that can be resolved over the phone.

Charlie is surprised, but excited at the change in plans. However, she’s feeding off my energy, and can tell that things still aren’t right.

“You’re going to talk to Tess?” she asks, holding my hand as we head to the car.

“I am,” I say, again not wanting to get her hopes up that I’ll be able to fix anything. At the moment, my failure in that department is pretty apparent.

“Good. Well, tell her that Sierra lied. That should fix it.”

“I’ll do what I can baby girl, but Tess is pretty hurt by everything. I don’t know if that will fix it.”

“Then tell her you’re sorry. If you apologize, it’ll be okay.”

God, I wish it was that easy. That cut and dry. That fucking simple.

“We’ll see.” It’s as definitive as I can get right now. I don’t know how this is going to go, and to be honest, I’m scared.

When Tess opens the door to her apartment and finds me on the other side, the hurt in her eyes that she’s trying desperately not to show nearly kills me. Guilt rolls through me, even though I know in my heart that I’ve done nothing wrong. I would never purposely do anything to hurt Tess, but somehow, I found a way to do it without even trying.

Even in her disheveled state, she’s beautiful. Her hair up in a messy bun, an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, and her arms around her waist, hugging herself. I want so badly to pull her into my arms and never let go, but I know that’s the wrong move. Her eyes are wary when they finally meet mine.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, shifting her gaze to the ground between us.

I shuffle my feet uncomfortably. “We obviously need to talk.”

“We were talking. You hung up on me.” Her chin juts out, and her shoulders straighten as her eyes lift to mine again with defiance. “I’d say the window for discussion is now closed.”

Swallowing hard, I’m not going to let it end like this. Not with her thinking I would do this to her. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hang up on you. I was just so…fucking frustrated. You have no idea how twisted this whole thing has become. Please, just let me explain my side.”

Her cold eyes study me, and I can feel the chill on my skin. It cuts through me.

She debates turning me away, but then says, “Fine,” as she steps aside to let me in.

Good. I’m in the door at least. I didn’t think I’d even get this far.

I stand in the middle of the living room awkwardly, memories of our time together here just the other day. It’s a complete mind fuck that things have changed so much in such a short period of time. And all because of something out of our control. All because someone else wants to fuck with me.

Tess sits in the solo armchair, pulling her knees up and hugging them, a clear sign that she doesn’t want me near her. I move to the end of the couch closest to her, pushing aside thoughts of how I held her right here in this spot on Friday night.

On the way over, I tried to think of words that would fix this. Charlie’s simple suggestions bounced around, and while seemingly oversimplified, they do cut right to the heart of things.

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