Page 57 of Mayhem

Shit.

Do I want to tell this story yet? Share this pain with my best friend? Or do I still want to hold onto it a little longer and dwell in my sorrow alone? I give in and answer, not hiding the fact that I’ve been crying.

“Hello?” I croak, my throat raw with emotion.

“How are you holding up?” she asks, sympathy in her voice. That throws me off kilter.

“How do you know what happened?” There’s no way Ivy could possibly know what happened this afternoon.

She hesitates. “What do you mean? It’s all over the internet.”

A lump forms in my throat, nearly choking me, and my heart starts racing. The entire world now knows my shame and betrayal. What the hell?

“How? Nobody else was there…”

“Wait. What?” she sounds just as confused as I do. “Where?”

We’re getting nowhere fast with this kind of questioning.

“How about you tell me what you’re talking about,” I offer, trying to calm my breathing that’s running away with me.

“The story about Brad and his ex, Sienna something-or-other, getting back together. She just did a tell-all with Blindsided, and the internet is eating it up.”

“Sierra,” I correct, going through the rolodex of ex-girlfriends in my head. Of course, I know who all of his exes are, it was part of my research for the band when I took the PR job. I had to know everything about who or what could pop out of the woodwork, and here she is.

That must be who Brad was talking to earlier today. Sierra Stevens, the swimsuit model from Texas, where things are definitely…bigger. They were on-and-off with each other for a year or so before he got together with Gina. And if I remember correctly, they were even engaged at one point. She’s the only one that got that close with him.

Of course, she is. She’s perfect. She was a bit of a media darling for a while, so I’m not at all surprised that she’s gone to the tabloids with this story.

“Is it true?” Ivy asks, and the reality of it hits me like a ton of bricks.

The tears start again, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t hold them back. I’m such an idiot.

“I think so.”

“What does that mean? You think so? Didn’t Brad say anything?”

‘I still care about you too, babe…’

Those words still ricochet around my heart, bruising everything in their path.

“Not directly, but I overheard a conversation earlier between the two of them that would confirm it.” Saying it out loud should make me feel better, but instead I feel even more like shit.

“Oh,” Ivy says quietly, but then shifts gears. “Well then, fuck that guy. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.”

“Ivy…”

“I mean it. You are a fucking Goddess, and he should feel honored to even be in your presence. If he’s too blind to see that, then fuck him.”

I appreciate what she’s trying to do, I really do, but it’s too much. I need to withdraw for a minute. Take a breath. But the world has other ideas about what I need, apparently.

The call is interrupted by another one. Eliza.

“I have to go, Ivy. Work is calling,” I say, trying to steel myself for the upcoming onslaught that I need to put my professional hat on for, even though my heart is still breaking.

“Okay but call me back. Don’t shut down. Got it?”

“Got it,” I say, and take a deep breath before switching calls, the tremor in my voice thankfully gone for the time being. “Hi Eliza.”

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