Page 53 of Forgotten Romance

Luke pulls me back to face him. “I said don’t look.”

“But everyone knows when you say don’t look, it obviously means you need to look.”

“No, it literally means to not to.” We’re both snickering now. “Come on, I need a beer to be social.”

“That sounds unhealthy.”

“About as unhealthy as still being in love with your ex?” He gives me a pointed look.

“No. The beer thing is actually unhealthy. Physically. Mine’s all mental, and it’s totally fine because I know there’s nothing there, and I’ll move on when I want to move on. Easy peasy.”

“Really?” His expression makes it clear he doesn’t believe me as he calls over Lisa and orders for us both. “So it’s a me thing, then?”

“What?”

“Well, I’d convinced myself that you never got back to me about a second date because you were still in love with your ex, but if you’re not and it’s totally easy to move on, then it must be me.”

My mouth drops. “Not you. Of course not. I like you. You’re funny and kind and weren’t put off by all the, y’know, swelling.” I still can’t believe that our first date sent me into anaphylaxis. “You’re great!” I drag the word out to emphasize that he is, in fact, great. Then I play punch his shoulder.

Luke looks from his shoulder to my face like he’s about to laugh. “Stop that.”

“What?”

“Trying to, I don’t know, boost me up or whatever. If you’re not interested, it’s okay. I think you’re cute, and I wanted to see where things would go, but I’m not all heartbroken or anything.”

A long rush of air leaves me. “Well, that’s a relief.”

“I take it dating isn’t something you do a lot of?”

“It’s not something I do any of. Davey’s home for two weeks, gone for two weeks. When he’s home, we spend a lot of time together as a family. When he’s gone, it’s just me and the kids.”

“You don’t have family who can babysit?”

“Sure. Davey’s parents.” I don’t even begin to explain how awkward it was that one time I asked them to watch Kiera and Van so I could go out. Art had been determined to find me someone to sleep with—someone who wasn’t their son—and my own pain was reflected in Mary’s eyes. Handing off the kids was very much a silent conversation of “Oh, yes, here are the little ones. Please supervise while I get my dick sucked by someone who isn’t your son,” and then she’d silently said back, “We love you and want that for you but would much prefer it was our son doing the sucking,” and I haven’t been game enough to have that experience with them again.

Preferably ever.

“Are your parents not around?” he asks.

“They live in Boston, so we take the drive up there to see them, and they pop down from time to time, but for a sleepover? No go.”

“I bet kids make everything so much harder.”

“A lot.” I palm my forehead, thinking of all the grays that have come through since that pair came into my life. “But also amazing too.”

Luke turns this over for a moment. “I’m not sure I want kids.”

“Any reason?”

“It’s more a whole mesh of smaller reasons. And kids are something I don’t think you should have unless you’re one hundred percent decided on it.”

“I agree.” Davey and I had been on the same page every step of the way. The day we brought Kiera home, I don’t think we took our eyes off her. She lived in our arms for the full two weeks that Davey was home, and then he left, and it was too hard for me to look after her and do everything else.

As bone-tired as I was, having her and Van is something I’ve never regretted, but it sure as fuck would be easy to.

“Your kids are super cute though,” he says.

“Thanks. I know.” They’re adopted, but I like to take full credit for the cuteness that they are. “Let’s say we dated.” It’s less of a segue and more of a steamroll. “You know the kids are a package deal, right? Like they won’t be going anywhere.”

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