Page 84 of The Revenge Agenda

“You bought those?”

Madden’s best friend, Penn, sniggers from beside him. “How do you still sound surprised?”

“The turbo mop, I could understand. The foot-scrubbing shoes thing? This is a new low.”

Madden shrugs. “What can I say? They got me. They got me good. Now, who are my guinea pigs?”

I turn big eyes on Hunter. “I already lost a chunk of hair during the hair-drying incident of twenty-one. I’m not putting any other body parts on the line.”

“And you want me to?”

“He’s right,” Penn adds. “You’re the only one of us who hasn’t supported Madden’s shopping addiction. You’ve got some catching up to do.”

Then Madden, the traitor, cups his hand by his mouth and stage-whispers to Hunter, “Trust me, you want to try these ones and not what I have coming next.”

“Say what now?” Penn puts his hand up. “I’ve changed my mind. I’ll do it.”

“Too late,” Hunter jumps in. “Easy is basically my middle name anyway. These things were made for me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Madden brings his hands together. “Question though. You two going steady?”

Hunter hesitates for a second. “We’re, umm, seeing each other. If that’s what you mean.”

“Sure is! But if that’s the case, it means you’re no longer a visitor, and so visitor rules no longer apply.”

“Nope. Stop.” I point at Madden. “You don’t get to strip off due to a loophole.”

“What’s going on?” Hunter asks.

“I can’t change who I am!” Madden exclaims. “This is my home.”

“You’re barely wearing shorts, and it’s not like Hunter is here all day, every day.”

“Our rule is guests. You’re dating, so he’s no longer a guest.”

Hunter waves his arm between us. “What the hell are you two talking about?”

“Madden’s a nudist,” I explain. “He wants to get naked.”

Madden plants his hands on his hips. “I don’t want to get naked.”

“Then what do you want to do?”

“I want to take off my clothes.”

I give him a blank look. “I know you think you’re making a distinction, but you’re not.”

“You’re making it sound perverted. There’s nothing perverted about it. I like the breeze on my balls, exactly as Mother Nature intended.”

Hunter chuckles. “Don’t let me stand in the way, then.”

Hmm … he doesn’t appear at all worried about my friend and roommate getting naked in front of him. Madden’s a hot guy. Nice muscles. Does he want to check him out?

“I object!”

The three of them turn to look at me.

“Maybe Mother Nature doesn’t want to see you hanging brain every day. Ever think about that, huh?”

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