Page 25 of The Alpha's Pregnant Mate

“You and Dasha,” Rhietta muttered, rolling her eyes. “So in a way, all of this is the fault of that demon for tearing my leg open.”

“That apportioning of blame seems…very generous to me,” he pointed out drily, surprised and pleased when she chuckled. “I accept.”

“Nice try.” She hesitated. “That’s what happened, right? You…found out I was pregnant, freaked out, walked into the jungle for three weeks.”

“I hadn’t—I didn’t know it had been quite so long.” He watched the moonlight dance on the waves for a moment. “But yes, that’s a reasonable summary. Rhietta, I’m so—"

“I talked to your advisors,” she said abruptly, cutting him off, and something in her voice made him fall silent at once. “They said—they said you hated kids, that you’d never want to be in the same room as one, let alone raise your own.”

When he glanced sideways at her, she was keeping her eyes fixed resolutely on the water below, but he could see tears standing in her eyes, see the way she was twisting at the hem of her shirt absent-mindedly in her lap. A few puzzle pieces fell neatly into place. “This was around the time you cut down our daily meetings, wasn’t it?”

She uttered a short laugh. “Yeah. You…noticed?”

“Of course I noticed.” He felt oddly stung by her surprise. “I’m—Rhietta, I might be…I might seem distant, sometimes, but it’s not as though…I mean, I have feelings. I can—I am aware, of other people’s feelings.”

“I know. Of course you are.” She exhaled. “I just—I’ve been excited about being a mom since I learned where babies come from, Laurent. This is…whatever the origins, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m doing this. I’m…honestly, I can’t wait.” He could hear the concern in her voice, but the smile on her face was so tender, so wondrous, that he felt a lump in his throat. “And if you don’t want any part of that, I understand. We can work it out. I just…honestly, I’m just glad you know, finally.” She breathed out, her shoulders slumping. “I hate keeping secrets.”

“Rhietta, I’m not—it’s got nothing to do with what I want.” He could feel his pulse, thick and sticky in his veins, feel that strange, eerie calm that lay just beyond pure panic threatening to rise up and claim him again. For a moment, the idea of walking into the jungle again was very tempting. Then he remembered what she’d said about spear-tackling him, and he forced himself to stay where he was. “It’s about what I’m capable of—and what I’m not. And I’m not—there’s no way I could be any kind of…father. Listen to me,” he said, disgusted. “I can hardly say the word, let alone—do it.”

Rhietta turned to look at him, an odd expression on her face. “You think you’re not…capable. Capable of what, exactly?”

“I mean, take your pick,” he said, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. “Any of it.”

“Well, are you capable of love?”

“Of course I am!” Her question had been so sharp and sudden that his answer was almost reflexive. He frowned. “I think—I mean, the definition of ‘love’ is somewhat difficult—” She made an exasperated sound in her throat, and he decided against continuing down that particular philosophical path. “What does that have to do with anything?”

She turned to stare at him then, a long, wide-eyed stare, and he’d never felt so personally attacked by the angle of someone’s eyebrow before. “Laurent, it has everything to do with everything. How are you this stupid? It’s like you spent your whole life studying as hard as you could, just to absolutely perfect the art of being the dumbest smart guy alive.” She shook her head wearily. “If you weren’t my soulmate, I genuinely think I might push you off this cliff. Nobody would ever know.”

There was that word again—the one he’d been doing his level best not to think about. Even hearing it on her lips again made his muscles tense up, dragged his memory back to that morning when he’d woken up with her in his arms and felt…just for a little while, before his rational mind caught up, he’d felt…

“Laurent?”

“It’s a good thing, then,” he heard himself say, his voice barely scraping out of his throat—but still audible.

“What’s a good thing?”

“It’s a good thing that we’re…soulmates, then.” He cleared his throat. “Despite what my foolhardy actions might suggest, I don’t actually want to die, so—”

“Laurent, did you just admit that we’re soulmates?” He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. It was hard to tell if the way Rhietta’s eyes were shining had more to do with joy or with rage. She let her breath out in a rush, and when she spoke, he flinched at the sudden volume. “It’s about time! I thought I was going to have to wait until the baby was here. Or longer. I mean, I’ll say one thing for everything you’ve put me through—I’ve gotten heaps better at patience.”

Briefly, Laurent considered pointing out how her impatient tone somewhat undercut that message. But her eyes were glowing with affection as well as exasperation as she sidled a little closer to him on the log, and though it had seemed like an absolute impossibility a few short minutes ago, Laurent found himself putting a cautious arm around her shoulder. He tensed just before he made contact, suddenly convinced that this was too good to be true—that she’d vanish in a puff of smoke, that he’d suddenly realize that all of this was a dream, that she’d pull away and ridicule him for ever thinking that there could be anything between a miserable old wreck like him and a goddess like her…but none of that happened, in the end.

Just the love of his life, sitting quietly at his side, her head resting gently against his shoulder as the two of them looked out across the ocean.

Chapter 19 - Rhietta

It felt like she’d finally put a crack in the brick wall that was Laurent. Part of her had been worried that that crack would spread and spread until the whole man dissolved into dust before her eyes…but she knew that even a complete breakdown like that was preferable to whatever he thought he’d been achieving by disappearing from the pack’s life forever. But something had changed in him, she realized. Exactly when that change had started, she wasn’t sure, but the man who was sitting beside her now had a lot less in common with the near-stranger who’d humiliated her in front of the pack all those years ago.

What the two of them did have in common, however, was an excellent memory…and more guilt than she’d imagined possible. As they talked, finding their way through the unfamiliar new landscape of vulnerability between them, she was stunned by the incredible detail in which he seemed to recall even their smallest interactions. She’d been expecting an apology, that much was true, but maybe not quite on this scale. Laurent was finding things to apologize for that she couldn’t even remember, let alone hold against him. It was absurd, and ridiculous, and so quintessentially Laurent that she found tears welling up in her eyes from how much she loved him.

And it felt good, to sit and listen to that litany of apologies, to know that Laurent was finally catching up with where she’d been since they’d first fallen into each other’s arms. Better late than never, right? The conversation would only be the start, of course—she knew there was nothing more pointless than an apology that wasn’t paired with action. But Laurent had always been a man of his word. It was part of why he made such a good Alpha, though to listen to his recount of the last few months, it didn’t sound like he thought that was the case. Well, plenty of time to address that later. For now, there was one subject that was weighing on her mind. And as much as she wanted to give him all the time he needed to work through all this…well, this particular subject had a pretty clear timeframe. And she felt like she’d been patient enough for one lifetime.

“Laurent, as much as I’m enjoying hearing in—intricate detail—about how great I am and how hard you’ll be working to make it up to me…” She glanced at him, catching one of those microscopic lip twitches that she’d learned to translate as a medium-sized Laurent smile. “I want to talk about the baby.”

“I thought you might,” he said, and she could hear the worry thickening his voice. “I’m just…” He spread his hands helplessly. “It’s just—”

Rhietta could feel a cold weight settling on her chest, draining a lot of the warmth that had been building there. “It’s fine,” she heard herself say. “I mean, it’s not…it’s going to be complicated, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m sure soulmates have worked through worse things than…only one of them wanting kids.” But as much as she loved him, right now she was struggling to imagine what that could possibly look like. Separate houses? A very complicated system of babysitters?

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