Page 20 of The Alpha's Bullied Pregnant Mate

He blamed himself as well, more than anyone else. Isla had not been lying earlier. He really had treated her horribly when they were children, and his actions then had given others permission to do the same to her.

She was an outcast. That was why he didn’t see her around town. If Carla’s words were to be believed, she was the butt of jokes in the pack. A societal cast off. And it had all started from him, a mean little kid in a high school cafeteria.

How different would her life have been if he had just left her alone? It was no excuse that he was a child. He knew exactly what he was doing. He was no longer that mean, destructive boy that he used to be, but that didn’t change the damage that had already been done to Isla.

He couldn’t forgive himself, even if he tried. The guilt crushed him into silence and be let out a relieved breath when Isla finally rose to her feet, bringing the tirade to an end. He couldn’t even bring himself to look her in the eye when they were leaving.

Isla kept her back straight and her posture was impeccable as they walked down the hallway towards the front door.She said nothing, and Fannar’s tongue was still tied securely inside his mouth. It was the longest, most uncomfortable walk he had ever taken in his entire life.

He gathered their jackets from pegs near the front door and helped her into hers. He kept thinking of something to say. Anything was better than this miserable silence.

It was snowing softly when they stepped outside. Fannar went ahead of Isla to the car, holding the passenger door open for her. She got in quietly and kept her eyes on the dashboard. The only sounds in the car were the soft hum of the engine and the wipers swinging back and forth on the windshield.

Fannar drummed nervously on the wheel and stole a glance at Isla every ten seconds. The longer he stayed quiet, the deeper the hole got and the harder it became for him to climb out of it. He just couldn’t think of anything adequate to say.

While Isla looked calm and in control, it was obvious to Fannar that it was a Fannar. Her eyes told a different, far more honest story. She was hurting and badly. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for her to hold in all the pain she was feeling, and maintain such a stoic demeanor. He had a feeling the facade was fragile, and that the slightest pressure would crack her mask.

Maybe silence was really what she needed at the moment. Some peace and quiet where she didn’t have to process anything at all. That was the least he could do for her, a small kindness.

The drive to her home seemed to last forever. The snow had turned into a blizzard by the time he got to Isla’s and Fannar considered how terrible the drive back home would be in such weather. Such were his thoughts when Isla opened the door and got out of the car without a word.

The sound of the door slamming shut startled Fannar and he turned to see Isla marching quickly up the steps to her house. He got out the car and raced after her. She was already unlocking the front door before Fannar got to the steps.

She was trying to get away from him, that much was obvious. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he let the night end this way. He raced up the slick, slippery steps and tripped at the top, stumbling towards Isla who had unlocked the door.

She was about to shut the door on him but he fell right in front of the door, his frame keeping the door open. It wasn’t a hard fall, and the only thing he suffered was a bruised ego.

He rested a hand on the door frame and stuck a booted foot through the door as he clambered back to his feet. He brushed snow off his jacket and faced Isla. “Sorry about that. Slippery stairs.” He struggled to make the words and they sounded weird in his ears.

She glanced at his foot stuck in the door. “I need to go to bed.”

“I need to talk to you. Please.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Good night.”

That crazy longing was back again, battering Fannar’s senses relentlessly. If he left now, it would drive him insane. He wanted to be with her, talk to her, comfort her. I want to kiss her again. But that wasn’t part of our deal. What will she say if I kissed her again, especially after everything that happened tonight?

“It won’t be long, Isla. Please, can I come in?”

She stared at him through her mask, but he could see how hurt she was inside. He didn’t want her to deal with the pain of the evening all alone. He had to let her know that everything that happened was his fault, and that he was going to try to make things better.

But first, she had to let him in. He waited patiently, enduring the discomfort of her scrutiny. He exhaled with relief when she stepped away from the door, giving him room to enter the house. He’d been holding his breath unconsciously.

Isla locked the door behind him and walked towards the middle of the room. She crossed her hands on her chest and watched Fannar quietly. The mask was gone. He had never seen anyone look as angry as she looked in that moment. “You wanted to talk? I’m listening.”

He stepped close to her and she took a step back. “Isla… I’m so sorry about today. I didn’t know that Carla was going to be there. I didn’t—”

“You ambushed me,” she growled. “That wasn’t part of the deal. I’m done. I should never have agreed in the first place.” She reached into her purse and pulled out the envelope filled with cash and tossed it at Fannar. It struck his chest and fell to the floor. “Our business ends now. I never want to see you, ever again.”

Fannar’s heart was racing. He looked at the envelope on the floor, with notes poking out through the lid. He looked back at her and saw the steely resolve in her eyes. She wasn’t bluffing. She was legitimately done with him.

The deal was the last thing on his mind now. The urge to wrap her in his arms was unbelievable. The more he fought it, the stronger it became. He wanted her in every imaginable way, and he didn’t want to imagine what it would feel like to never see her again.

“Isla, I’m sorry you had to experience that,” he said. “I’m sorry. But I never knew, Isla. Why didn’t you ever say something to me? Anything at all about how my actions affected you. All these years, and you just stayed shut and kept it all in. Why?”

Isla’s face darkened and she took one step forward. “How dare you ask me that? You have no right to ask me that. If you have nothing else to talk about, I’d appreciate it if you left. Now.”

“You could have said something, Isla.”

---