Page 37 of The Alpha's Surrogate

Having Callahan close by wasn’t helping matters for her in the slightest. She was aware she was falling for him; she wasn’t so oblivious as to not notice the signs. They were as clear as a beacon fire on top a hill, or a lighthouse on a dark, stormy night. She was certain Callahan had noticed as well.

But she couldn’t let anything else happen between them. She couldn’t bring herself to call the moment they had shared a mistake. It was one of the most beautiful memories she had. But it would be a grave mistake for her to let it happen again.

There was only one way this thing between them ended. With one of them getting hurt. It didn’t matter when it happened. Sooner or later, one of them was going to get hurt, regardless of what they did. That was the consistent story of her life, and she’d come to accept it.

It always happened. No one ever stuck around with her, and she’d never met anyone willing to go the distance for her. Not even Callahan. He’d left before. What was stopping him from leaving again when things got messy?

And with a baby on the way, it was now more serious than ever. Her actions directly affected the child growing inside her, and she had no intention of exposing an innocent being to the same hurt that she had experienced as a child, when she’d been left all alone in this world by the very people that should have been there for her the most.

That made the decision for her. Whatever she thought she felt for Callahan, it was nothing compared to the well-being of the child. While she had no rights over the baby, she wasn’t going to bring it into a life of pain.

“Josie?” Callahan nudged her. “I said we’re home. Are you alright?”

She blinked. She had no idea what had happened. One moment they were leaving the clinic, the next she was staring at Callahan’s house. She’d been so buried in her thoughts she’d completely lost touch on her surroundings.

She got out of the car and walked sullenly into the house. She was halfway up the stairs before she realized she hadn’t responded to Callahan. She couldn’t keep running away from him like this, keeping him at arm’s length like a plague.

She needed to have an honest conversation with him, and let him know why nothing could happen between the two of them. That terrified her, because there was so much about her life that she’d kept hidden from him and the entire world.

But he couldn’t understand her decision unless he understood her. He’d been patient and kind enough, and it seemed unfair that all she’d done was act badly and keep secrets from him.

The thought of opening up scared her, but not nearly as much as the thought of continuing their tryst. She had no doubt in her mind that nothing else could happen between them, even though there was nothing more she wanted in the world.

She entered her room and locked the door behind her. She leaned against the closed door, and before long she could hear Callahan’s feet on the top of the stairs. She heard him walk past her door, and her heart ached for what she knew she had to do.

She’d gotten used to his powerful presence, but it still awed her whenever she thought about it. She could feel his power pulsing out of him, radiating through the door. She listened as he walked past, and then let out a deep breath.

There would be no winners today, she knew, but she was out of options. She took off her summer dress and stepped out of her shoes. She stepped into the bathroom and avoided the sink. There were too many beautiful memories there.

The cold water was a relief as it ran down her body. She sighed and hissed contentedly. She’d been as tense as a spring the whole day, and the cold shower relaxed her tightened muscles. A part of her wanted to stay here forever and blank out the craziness of the world outside.

She turned off the water and dried herself quickly. As she stepped out of the bathroom, a strong wave of nausea hit her and she held the door for balance. She felt weak to her bones when it passed, and drowsy all of a sudden. She stumbled to the bed and collapsed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

***

Josie woke up feeling better than she had in days. This pregnancy was doing things to her that she had never experienced before. She could feel her body changing, and the fact was both beautiful and scary.

She got out of bed and got dressed in a soft, plain dress that stopped just shy of her knees. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a long minute, putting her thoughts together. This was going to be hard, but it was inevitable, and she’d made up her mind.

Soft music floated up the stairs when Josie opened her door. She was curious, and as she walked down the stairs, the sound got clearer, more distinct. It was coming from the kitchen, a saxophone solo accompanied by a bass guitar.

She smiled. She recognized the song. It was one of the songs she listened to when she was anxious. She had a playlist just for that purpose, and she played it while she worked. Callahan must have heard the song and searched for it.

She entered the kitchen and the soft hum of jazz music filled the cozy room, creating a warm atmosphere that leeched the tension out of her, while Callahan bustled about.

The aroma of garlic and herbs wafted through the air, and Josie’s mouth watered immediately. She sat at the kitchen table and rested her head on her hand, a contented smile playing on her lips.

Callahan wore a worn-out apron that had seen its fair share of the kitchen, and it looked weird sitting on his massive frame. Josie had watched him cook dozens of times, but the sight still stunned her.

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “There’s spiced chamomile tea in the pot over there for you. You seemed stressed today, and I thought it would help you relax a bit.” He chuckled softly. “You’re in for a treat, Ms. Ray.”

That set her at ease and she found herself smiling wider than she had in days. She poured herself a cup of tea and the sweet smell wafted into her nose, mixing with the increasingly inviting aroma in the kitchen.

The rich, savory scent of searing steak filled the kitchen and her stomach grumbled. She froze. She’d been craving steak for days. She hadn’t told him about it, how could he have known? Callahan was nothing if not full of pleasant surprises.

She walked toward the stove with her cup of tea so she could watch him cook better. A marbled rib eye, perfectly seasoned, sizzled on the hot grill pan. Callahan expertly flipped the steak, ensuring an even sear that would lock in the juices and flavor. The kitchen was infused with the irresistible aroma of garlic and rosemary that made her mouth water.

Josie, leaning on one of the kitchen counters, watched with eager eyes and a watering mouth as Callahan skillfully prepared the steak. Her pregnancy cravings were running wild, and she desired the primal satisfaction that only a perfectly cooked steak could provide.

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