Page 80 of Cast in Atonement

“We think it’s the corpse of a dead Ancient—a dead god, for want of a better word. But we’ve got no living Ancients we can use for comparison. One of the librarians at the Academia was extremely uncomfortable with the concept of a dead Ancient in Azoria’s backyard.

“But you also have dead words in your room—they’re still in her room?”

“Yes, dear.”

“No one but me could even see them—and I didn’t see what you saw. I saw words. And I saw words on the pillars depicted in the painting Evanton touched; everyone else saw only the pillars.”

Mrs. Erickson swallowed. “You know I don’t know very much about my abilities. I’m grateful to have them—I wasn’t always, but the children would have been lonely and trapped if I hadn’t. The ghosts we found in the Imperial Palace look like people to me, but less distinct—more like ghosts in stories would look. Our ghosts look like living people to my eyes. It causes some confusion, and I’ve learned over the years to wait to speak, to watch how other people react, before I attempt to introduce myself.

“I saw the ghosts trapped in Azoria’s home. After Azoria’s death, I did what I could to free them. I didn’t miss an inch of hall or room. But all those ghosts looked like people—mostly young people, and mostly women. Some were older. None were even half my age.

“I didn’t realize what I was looking at when I first entered Azoria’s domain. But nothing looked the same to my eyes. You saw the foyer, you saw the statues, you saw the way the ceilings had become much higher, the halls much longer. I saw those, too—but...to me, they were foggy, misty, as if they were ghosts themselves, like the ghosts in my room.” She fell silent, but she hadn’t finished. Kaylin waited while she found more words.

“In that hall, I could see all of you. I could see your familiar—but he didn’t look the way he looks now. I thought he’d crush you, he was so large. Mandoran and Terrano looked the same as always. Bellusdeo...” She shook her head. “I could see her sisters. They weren’t weeping. But they were all reaching for something. I didn’t want to tell her. She’s been so upset that her sisters are trapped where they’re trapped.”

“What did I look like?”

“You looked the way you’ve always looked to me. So did Corporal Handred. But his weapon... You know I see it as something very bright, very shiny; sometimes I have to squint to look at him at all.”

Kaylin nodded. She had questions, but didn’t ask any of them; she didn’t want to interrupt the flow of the old woman’s words.

“His weapon didn’t look like a weapon at all. I could see that he held his blades in his hands—but they didn’t look like blades. And Evanton, the Keeper—” Mrs. Erickson exhaled. “I’ve spent my life talking to children. I’m not terribly good with words.”

“Your words are fine,” Kaylin told her. “Evanton looked like Evanton to me. I’d ask Terrano what he saw, but he’s not here.” She hesitated, and then said, “Evanton is the Keeper. He was human, same as us, but he’s the link between the garden and the rest of the world, and that probably changed him. Or had to change him. He’s not dangerous. I mean, unless you’re trying to destroy the world; I imagine he would be terrifying then—if he knew about it.”

Helen turned to Mrs. Erickson and gently nodded. “If you need to, take a break, drink some tea. We have all night, and we are not in a rush.”

The old woman smiled at the Avatar of the house. “The manse was ghostly. It was the same blur, the same fuzziness, that I see in the ghosts of what you call words.”

“What did you see when you looked at the painting?”

Mrs. Erickson looked down at her hands and her mostly full teacup. She shook her head.

“Imelda,” Helen said, voice even softer than Kaylin’s, “can I attempt to answer that question for Kaylin? Or would you rather I didn’t?”

Mrs. Erickson swallowed. “I don’t mind,” she said, voice thin and shaky. She did. She did mind. Kaylin had seen Mrs. Erickson worry before; this wasn’t worry. Mrs. Erickson was afraid.

Helen agreed; she was silent. But when she spoke, she spoke to Mrs. Erickson. “Imelda, you are part of the home I wanted so desperately to build. I told you what it was like for me, when I had no will and no say. I was alive, once, as you or Kaylin are alive. I became the heart of a building, chained to it, unable to leave.

“I’ve been that way for a long time. But when I made my decision, when I broke some of the bindings, when I could decide, for myself, who I wished to shelter, who I wished to offer a home, I was content to be here. I’ve told you that I can hear your thoughts—that I can hear the thoughts of anyone who lives within my borders. It is impossible not to hear them.

“But it is more than possible not to share them. Even members of a family need their privacy.” She took a chair beside Mrs. Erickson. “Kaylin asked you to live with us. You are now part of my family, and your interests align with many of the interests of my first tenant, a woman I chose. A woman I wanted to offer shelter and protection.

“You would have liked her. She would have adored you. She wouldn’t have been as happy living with Barrani. I was not afraid of the lords I served. I was afraid of what they might command of me. I have found the cohort challenging, not because they have the right of command, but because they are only technically Barrani. Terrano can—and does—diffuse; he becomes far less physically present.

“All of his friends can, but for most it requires far more work; it is not natural to them. They are not what Barrani are expected to be. Kaylin is Chosen. She naturally attracts difficulty. She has a familiar I would find difficult to contain were he to decide he should not be. Sedarias intends to entrench herself as the ruler of her line; she has the title but must prove she can hold it. So far, all attempts to unseat her have failed. The last attempt was very close. And yes, it means someone tried to kill her.”

Mrs. Erickson’s worry shifted to more normal concern.

“Bellusdeo lived here until she chose to captain a Tower. She was comfortable here, but restless; she lacked purpose and focus. Because she lived here, the attention of the Imperial Palace was unavoidable. She is the only living female Dragon, and she represents a future for her race. Were there another—were there any other—she would never bear a clutch. She was not raised to it, and she does not desire it.

“No one who lives here is normal by the standards of their race. It’s my belief,” Helen added, once again gentling her voice, “that no one is normal when they are at home. You are at home here. No one here will judge you. No one here will judge your power.”

“Lord Sanabalis did.”

“No. He fears your power, and he fears your lack of understanding of it. He does not judge you. Were you younger, you might even be seconded to the Imperial Palace; the duties demanded of Imperial Mages might be too physically taxing now. Regardless, the Arkon does not live here.

“Kaylin will never fear you. Kaylin will never judge you.”

---