Page 152 of Cast in Conflict

You want me to tell her that you’re trapped with Emmerian? And you think that will make her less angry?

Fair point. Kaylin exhaled. “Bellusdeo is here.”

Emmerian’s eyes widened.

“She heard the cohort making a ruckus and she’s not stupid. She didn’t intend to return—Karriamis told her not to—until she could answer his question. Now, she probably doesn’t care about the question.”

“Understand,” Emmerian said, as he looked up at what passed for ceiling in this space, “that what I want, is not what Bellusdeo wants; she wants to get things over with. She just wants it done. She’ll take the least offensive option available to her in order to do her duty. But I don’t consider her to be the least offensive option; I don’t consider the Dragon race to be a simple weight to carry, a thing that must be seen to so that she can move on.

“I understand duty. I understand responsibility. But Kaylin, I understand hoard. And...I am not certain that I can do this duty in this paradigm and remain sane. The Emperor could. Diarmat could. I am less certain about Sanabalis, and as we’ve discussed, Lannagaros could not.

“I could begin,” he continued, his voice dropping, his eyes reddening. “I am considering it. We would still have children. We would still have the promise of the continuation of our race.

“But how promising will that beginning be if I can see a day coming in which those children—and the court and Bellusdeo—will have to destroy me?”

“I don’t understand hoard,” Kaylin finally said. “I just don’t. I understand it better because of what you’ve told me—but I don’t get it. You speak as if it’s not a choice. And I accept that. I’m not a Dragon. I’m not immortal. But...I don’t understand what you want. I understood, sort of, what the former Arkon wanted. I understood what he’d devoted his life to. Wouldn’t work for me, but I’m not him.

“And I understand some part of what Tiamaris wanted—but only because I’ve seen him with Tara. And that—that makes sense to me. She’s his wife. I mean, she’s a Tower and she’s a building and they’re not going to have children and raise happy families—but it doesn’t matter. That’s what I see, as a mortal.

“What do you want? What does Bellusdeo mean to you? What do you want her to mean to you, and...what do you want to mean to her?” When he failed to answer, she said, “I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking of Bellusdeo, and only of Bellusdeo. I’ve been thinking of the possible disasters around this decision because you’re right—this isn’t what she wants. She wants the war. She wants to be on the front lines until there’s no more Shadow, ever.

“But she understands the need for young. She gets that. It just isn’t what she wants. I understand what she wants. I understand why. I’d want it, too, if I were her. If every person I had ever loved had died or been corrupted and enslaved by Shadow, I’d want it dead.

“But I don’t understand what you want. I assumed—I’m sorry—that the ‘more Dragons’ part of the equation was something the entire Dragon court agreed on. I didn’t really think beyond that, and obviously, that was stupid.

“So: tell me what you want. Tell me what would drive you insane.”

At his expression, she quickly added, “Or not.” She stepped back instinctively, and realized as she did that she hadn’t taken enough steps back. Emmerian, in this enclosed space, was going full Dragon.

But if what he wanted was to be Bellusdeo’s hoard—if female Dragons even had any—it wasn’t going to happen. Not now. Probably not ever.

“Tara is Tiamaris’s hoard—and with her, the whole of the fief, because that’s what her duties are. But he’s not her hoard; she’s a Tower, she’s not a Dragon. He’s not insane. He’s not in danger of going insane. And they’re both happy. They’re both fine. I don’t understand.”

You should probably keep that to yourself, Severn said, his voice heavy with a concern that had not yet become fear but hovered on its edge.

I can’t. I don’t think he’s going to be able to leave this place if he doesn’t know.

Yes. But it doesn’t mean you have to know what that answer is.

I don’t think he has one.

Bellusdeo has entered the Tower.

Karriamis let her in?

Karriamis didn’t continue his attempts to keep her out.

Ugh.

Mandoran and Sedarias were helping.

The mystical equivalent of picking locks?

He nodded.

Great. So we’re going to have three angry Dragons.

I don’t think Karriamis is actually angry.

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