Page 137 of Cast in Conflict

“But I’m grateful.”

“Everyone has something that’s important to them. In the Dragon’s case it’s not something she can hold on to the same way Sedarias can hold on to us. Sedarias doesn’t feel guilt. She would—if all of us died and she couldn’t prevent it, she absolutely would. Which in turn gives her different nightmares—it’s a good damn thing we don’t need sleep.”

She was already overprotective enough, Kaylin thought.

“Yes, dear. It is very difficult to protect what you love when what you love is sentient and separate. I, for instance, can only guarantee your safety when you are here. Were I to prioritize your safety above all else, I would have to forbid you to leave.”

Kaylin stared at her house.

“That would be the best chance of keeping you safe. Of protecting what is important to me. But confining you would not be protecting what is important to you. You have responsibilities that define you, just as I have. Love is always a compromise between fear and the desire that you be true to yourself.

“Sedarias is coming to understand that. Were it not for the cohort, she would not make the effort—her upbringing has formed so much of her automatic, visceral reactions.”

“And she’s not a thinker?”

“Ah, but she is. She is ferocious with thought—but that thought has always been turned outward. She is watching for her enemies, for assassins, for obstacles on her path to finally claim what should have been hers. She never stops thinking.”

“You can say that again.”

Kaylin rose.

“You are not going to the Halls of Law today; Bellusdeo is here.”

“No; we’re both still seconded to Bellusdeo. But—Severn is almost here.”

“Has he eaten?”

“I think so.”

Kaylin met Severn as he was walking up the path.

“Emmerian is not our job,” he told her.

“I know. I know it. But—Bellusdeo is here, and Helen can keep her safe.”

“And when she leaves—without us—we’re in dereliction of duty. Helen has no way of letting us know if we’re not on Helen’s property.”

“No, but—Mandoran can.”

“Mandoran can what?” It was, of course, Mandoran.

“You can come with us, and the cohort can let us know when Bellusdeo leaves.”

“And if you’re halfway across the fiefs, how are you going to get back here in time to meet her?”

“We won’t be halfway across the fiefs—we’ll be in Candallar. It’s not like we’re going to be exploring anywhere else. You know exactly where we’re going.”

“Severn’s right. Emmerian isn’t your duty or responsibility. He’s way, way more self-controlled than you have any hope of being, and he’s also—in case it escaped your attention—a Dragon.”

“Fine. You don’t have to come.”

“I’ll tell Bellusdeo.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll be stuck in front of angry Bellusdeo.”

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