Page 126 of Cast in Conflict

“She has to know they’re not lying—they’re talking, all of them, through the bond of their True Names.”

“What she knows, what she feels, these are not the same. She could listen to you because you are an outsider. But not so much of an outsider that you have a vested interest in placating her, in pleasing her.”

“So...if she liked me more, she’d listen less?”

Helen chuckled, but her mouth, when it came to rest, was drawn down in the corners. “Yes. But if you really think about it, you’ll probably understand it.”

“Will it make me any happier?”

“Probably not. You’ve often wondered why Teela cares about you. And sometimes you tell yourself it’s only because you have the marks of the Chosen. Not often,” she added softly, “but sometimes. You do not think as compulsively as Sedarias is wont to do, and you don’t dwell often on the fears. But if you did, you would be far more like her.

“But what you said is true: she would die for them. They are her family in any way you define family. They will stand with or beside her against any enemies. But not against each other, not that way. She did not take control of Mandoran. She did try.”

“But Severn—”

“It was not quite the same. But it’s the same impulse, writ large. You weren’t horrified at what Severn attempted.”

Kaylin had already said this, but nodded.

“He was. It is Sedarias’s own guilt and self-loathing she must work through. But this is a start: she has stopped making any attempt to justify the actions to herself. Severn never made the attempt—but his action was instinctive, primal. Sedarias has a singular ability to make the instinctive and the primal work for her, rather than against her—but there are snarls and pitfalls.

“I believe they will be talking for some time. You wanted to ask me something, and we began that discussion before it was so perilously interrupted.”

Kaylin was exhausted. And hungry. She could barely remember what she’d wanted to talk about; it seemed like she’d been flying above rocks for a week. But Helen led her out of the basement, and back up the stairs to the long hall which led, at its end, to an open-air patio. Severn was seated. And eating.

He looked up as the two approached, setting fork aside.

“Sedarias is fine, for now. I used to envy what she built—but another day like this anytime soon would probably kill me.”

Helen nodded. “Now, what did you want to discuss?”

It was Severn who answered. “Karriamis.”

“Ah. I know very little about Karriamis’s history. I understand what he now is—inasmuch as it is possible to understand a person one has never met. He is the core and the heart of the Tower he became to stand against Ravellon.”

Kaylin nodded. “He wouldn’t tell us why he chose Candallar. He wouldn’t discuss that at all—he implied that you wouldn’t either, but...that you might if I asked persistently.”

“Pestered is an unfortunate word,” Helen replied.

“It’s probably deserved. I know better than to interfere in an argument between angry Dragons—but I did it anyway.”

“You are young. It might be hard to believe, but ten years from now, twenty, you will find it much easier to do what seems pragmatic. You react emotionally. I trust your reactions. But you do not always see all of the context for any given set of emotions that others experience.

“You are mortal. You know that I choose mortal tenants.”

Kaylin nodded.

“Some small part of you believes it’s because you will die of old age, and if I have somehow made the wrong choice, I won’t have to suffer with it for long.”

Did she? Maybe. Maybe she did believe that. But...she didn’t. She didn’t, not most of the time.

“Exactly. But you wonder, don’t you?”

Kaylin nodded.

“What is your answer, right now?”

“You wanted me because what I wanted from a home, you wanted to give.” It was a practiced answer; she had said it to herself many times.

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